walked into alec’s apartment. noticed a light was on inside a room with a closed door. used the bathroom and put down my stuff. think we were talking about alec’s roommates, who he met from craigslist. alec said something about not liking nintendo 64. there was a n64 game console on the ground. he emerged from a room and noticed the light on in the room with the closed door and said ‘oh shit, do you think he heard’ and we started whispering as we left the house. i said ‘you didn’t say anything bad, you just don’t like nintendo 64.’

walked around the ‘young/college’ part of town. joked about how people say ‘urban’ but mean ‘black.’ passed an urban outfitters. made jokes. talked about johnny rockets. the part of town…seemed depressing, something about its smallness and affluence and ‘who it seemed to be built for/who would enjoy it,’ and the people i was seeing mostly through my peripheral vision. a girl with wig-like red hair and a union jack shirt and maybe a boyfriend passed alec and me. alec said ‘did you see the union jack shirt’ and i said ‘yeah, it’s bad here.’

the bar was on the brown university campus, in the basement of a campus building. it was cool. you had to go down stairs that reminded me of stairs at my high school. it looked like the bar in ‘twin peaks.’ there were maybe five rooms, and an oddly-placed glass display showcasing a large skeletal or tooth-like sculpture made of what looked like balsam wood, ‘eating’ a can or plastic bottle of soda. the bar was empty except for a table of loudish people who left shortly after we arrived. we sat on a couch, side-by-side, but something seemed bad…even though the view from the couch was where the bar most looked like the ‘twin peaks’ bar and i thought i’d like it. the couch was silver and plastic and sparkly. i said we should move and we did.

before midnight i think we’d had two or three drinks, each. i drank vodka club sodas and alec drank beers i hadn’t seen before.

AUGUST 13, 2013

12–2:00AM: sat at the bar. drank four vodka tonics and two negronis. alec ordered a new kind of beer every time, i think. he suggested a beer. can’t remember everything we talked about and am unsure if alec would feel okay about me saying everything i do remember. we caught up on a lot of things. life incidentals. i vented about [omitted]. alec had read ‘the remainder’ and liked it. we were talking intensely about a philosophical aspect of ‘the remainder.’ remember thinking ‘when alec first met me i was studying philosophy and had things to say about philosophy but now i forget everything, i wish i knew more.’ alec said his friend anto, who i’d met last summer and liked, reads my liveblog. anto recently told alec, ‘it doesn’t seem like megan does drugs for fun.’ he responded, ‘sounds like you ‘get’ megan.’