10:[something]AM: woke and saw clock. thought ‘great, up early, i’ll sleep for another ten minutes.’

1:37PM: woke. feeling groggy. alec and his friends are driving back to rhode island tonight, i just read in a new message. he asked if i wanted to come too.

2:49PM: ate half a ‘personal-sized’ watermelon, 800mg choline, 1.2g aniracetam, 800mg phethylamine. driving to rhode island at 6PM. ‘personal jesus’ by depeche mode is playing in my head only it’s ‘your own…personal…melon.’ this sometimes happens when i think about ‘personal-sized’ melons.

3:17PM: before leaving: buy cat food, e-cigarette cartridges, shower, pack clothes. shit. packing. gonna get moving with this.

5:57PM: two women walked behind me as i walked from pickles & pies to waldbaum’s. one said ‘i got a grandson that’s 18 years old. pshh, i ain’t got time for this!’

saw a gold cube on the ground in the post office parking lot. it was near where the woman in the cape yelled ‘asshole’ at me. picked it up. think it’s a bouillon cube. cube of bouillon. considered putting it back, in case a homeless person wanted to use it in their food, then thought ‘no one will ever see it. this is my cube.’

in waldbaum’s a dad-looking guy pushing a shopping cart said ‘what kind of soda does shannon like?’ someone said ‘sprite.’ he said ‘i won’t get sprite then.’

the girl i like, candy’s friend who used the ‘store card’ for me and doesn’t move her face much, was monitoring the self-checkout line. when i passed her to exit the sun was hitting the back of her head and she was smiling at whoever was talking to her. it was nice to see her smile.

fed cats, washed dishes, laid out extra food and water, packed clothes in a hurry when i got home around 5:45PM. sweat a lot while doing dishes. took off dress. removed sheets and things from bed, put comforter and pillows in closet, and stood/propped mattress upright against the ‘cat tower’ to prevent pee while i’m gone. still seems like there will be pee. looks like some of the pee from the mattress pad has sank into the mattress. going to do a cleaning/scrubbing bonanza when i return and throw away mattress pad.

a package with no return address, which looked ‘internationally sent,’ arrived a few days ago. have been ‘afraid’ of it. it was hydergine. i had ordered it a few weeks ago. it’s used to treat dementia. invented by the guy who invented LSD. ate half a tablet before i left for p&p and waldbaum’s. seem to be…sweating more. i don’t feel like i need caffeine. feeling better than yesterday, like, baseline mood is better, but that could just be circumstantial. ate other half of tablet a few minutes ago. ‘we’ll see.’

6:08PM: alec said i should leave around 6:30PM. asked juliet if we could reschedule our final video interview for tomorrow or later tonight. gonna write directions and get this shitshow on the road.