feel mostly okay about things that’ve happened to me

not sure what i’m referring to anymore

forgot what this website was called for a moment, thought ‘weheartour-blogspot’

think i’m imagining the vacuum thing, going to try turning off the faucet

turned it off, i was right

my cat likes to drink water from the bathtub faucet so i turn it on sometimes

i can’t believe…all this time…not a vacuum…damn

learning new things every day

was getting pretty irritated at that vacuum person

vacuumer…vacuumaisier…vacuumassuese…

do you know the jay-z where he says ‘i’m not a businessman, i’m a business, man’

for a while i tried to make something like that work but with ‘vacuum and’ and ‘acumen’ (not necessarily in that order)

i don’t remember the song other than that line

it’s possible i just know it from people quoting it

should i stop feeding my cats ‘fancy feast’

they act like they like it but i’m pretty sure it’s poisonous

my best friend’s ex-boyfriend calls her dog ‘the imp of the perverse’

the dog is a tiny chihuahua that vibrates almost constantly

its face is extremely expressive

i think ‘the imp of the perverse’ originated from an idea that the dog is the by-product of all the misery in the world, like technically its parents are all the pain and suffering in the world, that’s why it is the way it is

it’s funny if you see the dog

maybe

this might be strictly ‘seeing the dog’-based humor

mild background fixation on if and how i’m disappointing ryan manning

wanted to do this partially out of a desire to not disappoint him

realistically i don’t think he or anyone but maybe my parents thinks about/interacts with me enough that their experiences could be disappointing compared to their expectations

no, i don’t know

getting a little carried away with this comment

it’s going to be 86 degrees today

at the end of the day i will have eaten or not eaten a number of oranges but right now it’s anyone’s game

potentially five oranges could be eaten, i have five and do not foresee wanting more

smart money is on ‘one orange will be eaten today’

anyone’s game though…anyone’s…

at this point…

almost afraid to stop doing this, what will i do after this

okay signing off for now,

megan

9:28AM: ate 5mg oxycodone for ‘actual pain relief.’ seeing less fruit flies. strange abdominal cramping. morning feels bad. to my right is a 30mg adderall ‘just in case.’ seems like jordan will not visit today. no word on the jordan front. ‘the jordan front’ sounds like an early 2000’s math rock band. maybe screamo band. maybe opening for thrice this wednesday at power point live. all is quiet on the jordan front. would be funny if he showed up in a few minutes. wonder what’s going to happen. i haven’t unpacked from maryland or folded laundry or put clean sheets/comforter on the bed yet. shirley has not tried to pee the bed since yesterday. wonder what’s going to happen…!!!!