put away groceries and killed fruit flies with windex. they like the sink. thought about putting away the laundry. left dad a long voicemail about the yelling caped woman and the cat pee and fruit flies. pressed a button and it was deleted. left another voicemail that was mostly ‘i’m afraid the check is going to bounce again, i’m out of money, can you do rent?’

9:12PM: think the guy at the deli just gave me an amount of quarters that seemed like was ‘enough’ when i asked for eight. he’s the guy who…it’s hard to interact with him every time. there is always some misunderstanding.

which is all to say: i’m drying laundry right now and i am one quarter short. i don’t think i ever want anything as much as i want one quarter when i’m one quarter short of a dryer load. i looked everywhere spare change could be in my apartment, i think. i had five quarters and the cashier at wegman’s gave me a quarter too. there is no way that guy gave me eight quarters. going to the chinese food place to exchange two dimes and a nickel for a quarter.

9:32pm: I lied about the quarters. Have been lying about weird things lately. I had two dollars, I was planning on getting change for two dollars. Walking back from Chinese place. I only got change for one dollar. I didn’t get change for the other one because felt guilty about lying and didn’t consider that I could just delete ‘two dimes one nickel’ and replace it with ‘one dollar’ or ‘two dollars.’ I don’t know what’s going on. Stared at a package containing fist-sized mounds of dough wrapped in something that said ‘almond cookie’ as woman gave me four quarters. I brought the dimes and nickel in case I changed my mind and wanted to be a ‘good Samaritan who does what she says she’s going to do.’

9:39pm: the lady gave me a Chinese quarter I think. It did not work in dryer.

9:40–11:59PM: answered backlog of ask.fm questions. here i go writing things like ‘backlog of questions’ again. at some point dad called.

AUGUST 2, 2013

12:56AM: sam cooke texted that he and mira and gian were hanging out. planning to respond ‘i’ll come as soon as i finish answering this question or in 30 minutes.’

2:56AM: texted ‘are you guys still partying.’ still haven’t heard from jordan.

3:38AM: made a fist around orange 30mg adderall while looking indirectly at an area of my bed to ‘give eyes a resting place while brain decides.’ thought ‘maybe don’t eat it. remember sam’s (chelsea’s ex-boyfriend) party tomorrow. you will be tired if you don’t sleep tonight. [memory of reading chelsea’s texts this afternoon and how the light looked]’ and put adderall in mouth.

my apparent interest in being social and very likely tendency to flake out of social events is becoming predictable in a self-parodying kind of way. starting to get bored with this.