•  tao emailed what i sent of transcription looks okay and to keep going, no money/time issues. started re-reading transcription and laughed through nose while walking inside. i like reading things like this a lot, like, word-for-word extremely detailed transcriptions of things that don’t exclude ‘uh’ or ‘um’ things and treat punctuation like the same thing as words, kind of.

•  pressed ‘up’ on elevator and debated saying ‘hi’ to colin and his friend, distractedly smoking e-cigarette. thought ‘say ‘hi’ after you put away groceries. what are you going to say. is he the one who brought up the package? thank him, that was nice, what if it wasn’t him…’

•  another light has gone out. the red light. the outlet above it seems to work.

•  put away groceries and fed cats. cats officially enjoy fancy feast more than tuna.

•  changed from jeans to pajama shorts but did not take off ‘get out of the apartment’ shirt, thinking ‘maybe i will say hi to colin and friend. it’s not too late. just say ‘hi,’ be a neighbor, a normal person.’ looked at face/pupils in mirror. pupils big. pictured myself saying ‘hi guys, i’m working on this thing all day and night, transcribing this thing’ and eventually saying the word ‘gig’ and pee running down legs.

•  ate an amount of vyvanse, think it’s 25mg. it’s the one masha drew something on, i think, to indicate it contained less. texted masha a response thinking ‘this will not garner a response but i want to respond to people more.’

•  willis texted if i’d be home/at rockaway tomorrow and…i thought today was tuesday and tao’s reading was tomorrow and mira’s/scott’s/my baltimore reading was the next day. relieved. i said i might be sleeping during the day probably.

11:15PM: drinking monster drink. don’t like typing ‘monster’ ever. ever. EVER. now, especially. shirley on the bed. both windows open. they don’t let you do laundry in my building after 10PM. it’s okay. it’s okay. when i started typing this i felt insane…abberant…very not-normal lifestyle, very alone, very ‘what am i pretending i know how to do, will it help to call mom?’ lit candles. have been texting with matthew a little and feeling better. back muscles tense. whole back of body. stomach muscles also, like i’ve been exercising. can tell elbows/arms are tensed when i type. headache. chest tightness stuff. okay. chewing trident gum. it is a spearment flavored. i’m leaving it typed like that, that’s what it sounded like in my head. NO BUTTS ABOUT IT. no butts. resuming transcribing at 12:05AM. maybe if i liveblog long enough i’ll eventually become consistent about saying AM/PM’ all of the time or none of the time and figure out what i want ‘number consistency: below 10 = spelled? not? when not?’ and things like that. so. stay tuned for that. that’s right, ‘stay.’ instructing you to ‘stay’ something, which means…assuming you are already something…‘tuned,’ in this case…instructing you to continue doing what you’re doing, if what you’re doing is what i think you’re doing. okay. just so we’re clear.