the card that came in the mail said ‘margaret megan boyle.’ i drove to the maryland DMV where i got my license. the DMV is out in the country and i thought they’d maybe be more lenient than the new york people. the woman behind the desk looked at my IDs with her eyebrows close together. i explained i was trying to get my IDs to all say the same thing, and that the social security office had told me i needed my driver’s license to be changed first. the woman said ‘i don’t know why they’d tell you that, we need your social first. we use whatever your social security card says.’ i said ‘what about my birth certificate, does that matter?’ she said ‘why does your social security card say a different name than your birth certificate?’ i said ‘i guess i got it with my dad, i don’t know, a long time ago, i don’t know why no one checked to see if they said the same thing.’ she said ‘now why does your passport say ‘megan matlock boyle?” i said ‘i don’t know, no one checked.’ she said ‘you at least need your passport. you need at least two things to say the same thing. but really, they all need to say the same thing.’

it had been over a month since i had stopped CDL lessons with the polish guy. near the end, we had started studying the license requirements list and ‘conspiring’ about how i could get a new york license without getting a new social security card or passport: i find my marriage certificate [worth 2 points, knew it said ‘margaret megan matlock boyle’], high school diploma [worth two points, pretty sure it said ‘megan margaret matlock boyle’], and ‘something else, you figure it out, two more points.’ he said the only new york DMV that issued immediate temporary licenses was in coney island. he would say ‘so you go to coney island, hm? with your papers, hm? then they give you new license, then you say ‘can i take CDL test’ and they say yes, you get it the same day. coney island is the only place. you gotta wake up early.’ i would say ‘that’s fine, i’ll wake up early that day.’ he would ask me when i thought i’d have everything straightened out and i would lie and he would nod and say ‘good, you straighten it out’ with a wary but not hopeless facial expression.

around the time i visited the maryland DMV the truck man left me a voicemail asking if i had gotten my name straightened out yet. i called him back and said not yet, it was taking forever, waiting for things to get mailed to me. zachary and i had started looking for apartments in philadelphia. we were hoping to move in together by april or may, i think. there would be no reason for me to have a new york driver’s license (commercial or standard) anymore. didn’t tell the truck man.