2:06am: typed above thing sitting in parking space. Left nostril is so clogged I don’t know how the spray could’ve gotten in. It’s running down my nose a little, I am tilting head typing this trying to reverse gravity and funnel spray liquid up there. Man is loading something into a white van. I think he is the floor polishing man. Van is driving away.

2:09am: gravity working, nose less obstructed. Reversed car just in time to inconvenience white van, now directly behind me.

2:13am: prolonging car ride to finish cigarette/avoid productivity. I’m only allowed this one cigarette. Drive your diddly ass around all you want Boyle, you’re just getting this one cigarette, and you know you have to pee, so. Enjoy this. Enjoy this dilly-dallying you diddly peehead. Oh look, the moon. Soak up that moon, you diddly. Yeah that’s right you know how to auto-correct whatever I typed to ‘diddly,’ you sexy telepathic iPhone, sensing my desire to type ‘diddly’ somehow, but oh no you remain mysterious, why did you want to auto-correct ‘sensing’ to ‘sending,’ I didn’t even misspell it, you irresistible minx, keeping me guessing the way you do, will we ever understand each other?

2:22am: pulled into mom’s. Would be interesting if I forgot vyvanse.

2:40am: peed, ate two Tylenol for headache, saw package from Austin (payment for doing spacedads spreecast reading) on my bed. Package was expertly packed, like the most intricate packaging I’ve ever unpackaged.

Also was expecting just one or two pills, he sent me 16, wide variety. What to do.

2:53AM: ate 60mg vyvanse. i’m not going to do the thing where i type what i remember of yesterday here, i’m either going to fill in with as much detail in order, or leave things blank.

10:37AM: pretty convincing fake 2:53AM update, huh? as you can see i was trying to cover my tracks in a way that…would lead to…i don’t know. i was setting a scene for you. trying to make that one easy for you. it’s probably true, i was thinking things like 2:53AM all night. i got in a vyvanse hole bigtime.

a little earlier the gyno office called to see if i could come in early, at 12:20PM. thought ‘i don’t want to go earlier but if i agree to then maybe she won’t find cancer in me.’ i told laura i could come in at 12:20. doorbell rang a few minutes later. it was a package from UPS. watched the truck drive away. something mom had ordered from HSN. walked up stairs and thought ‘mom will be the saddest if i have cancer, sadder than me, ‘don’t have cancer’ just for mom, i don’t want to have it either, the thing the gyno wanted to re-do to me is a scam, it planted the idea in my head and cancer grows from ideas maybe, i don’t want health to be bad i just got other stuff a little good shit shit shit.’