4:41pm: professional-looking woman being helped by post office person was saying ‘how do I know someone’s not going to read my mail? That’s my whole point in doing this, otherwise I’d save myself the trip’ and looked back to everyone in line for sympathy, it seemed. People were paying attention to other things.

4:46pm: mailed everything media mail. Post office lady said ‘you need to re-sign that card, I can’t see a signature’ and handed me a red sharpie. She looked back and forth between my name on my license and my card a few times but didn’t say anything about one of the names being ‘Margaret.’

4:55pm: turned key in ignition and tied hair in ponytail. Neck tension built or released. Felt good.

**IF ANYONE IN A 50 MILE RADIUS OF BALTIMORE IS READING THIS: I AM INTERESTED IN BEING PET, LIKE HOW YOU WOULD PET [ANIMAL OF YOUR CHOICE], FOR AS LONG AS YOU FEEL LIKE IT. NOT A SEXUAL THING, STRICTLY SPECIES ON SPECIES RUBBING, WEARING CLOTHES. OFFER LONG-STANDING BUT TONIGHT WOULD BE ESPECIALLY NICE.

5:01pm: I’m going out on a limb to say this. ‘A limb.’ Haha. Going out on all my limbs and my torso and head to say this, this thing I thought in line at the post office: I have reached a point of no return of sorts. I can’t imagine functioning the way I used to before I was so involved in the internet. I don’t know how much good any of this is actually doing me. Some interesting things have happened to me and I’ve met interesting people but I feel like in order for me to live a life where I’m mostly happy I should not continue to do this, like, write the liveblog but also probably not write or show anyone. I also can’t imagine not doing either of these things. I feel like I’m in some kind of hellish limbo area where no alternative seems easier to commit to, to cause long-term satisfaction. It doesn’t work for me to go this long without experiencing some kind of meaningful interaction. It feels good to know people read this but I miss the thing of seeing a face and feeling the face see me or whatever. Also I don’t know…who I could ever potentially have a relationship with…seems like I’ve…there is a limit I’ve reached that other people could exceed but I feel unable to, if that makes sense. Not just about relationships, about all of this.

People throw around ‘I don’t know what to do, what do I want from life’ but I really don’t know…like has anyone who has said that felt these things I’m talking about? Don’t most people at least have, like, an idea of what they could contribute to the world? Aren’t most people, like, considering a few internships, if not day jobs? Night jobs? Any jobs? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?