every time i see ‘PLAN’ or something in here it seems so futile. like, my unfinished plans from earlier, how it all keeps being a very similar ‘plan’…when is this shit going to end…

i do tend to get more things done when i dress for the occasion. ODDLY.

pictured myself sitting at a table on ‘the lido deck’ of a cruise ship, a fat woman in a hat approaching me, saying ‘ODDLY! the LIDO deck of ALL PLACES! i see you’ve DRESSED FOR THE OCCASION! ho ho ho!’

3:47PM: listened to a song i like by the ohioans. sounds like it’d be on the ‘clueless’ soundtrack, or like, playing in the background of an aerial shot of a high school that follows the main character into the school and you see how all the people in the hall react to the main character and the credits are playing.

i’m still sitting on my bed, drinking third or fourth cup of coffee. feeling less groggy. going to start stop being a shithead.

4:42PM: experiencing memory loss re ‘things i’m preparing to do,’ via xanax. extreme amounts of xanax the last two days, i think. unsure if i typed the total amount i ate (unsure of total amount).

THINGS I THOUGHT IN THE SHOWER:

•  ‘congo.’ tim curry was the main actor in ‘congo.’ was it their plan to make him a hot sexy superstar? brandon scott gorrell said something about ‘congo’ and it was funny, i can’t remember. tim curry was in ‘home alone 2’ and ‘rocky horror.’ he is gay.

•  shave all the pubes. what good did pubes ever do you. they’re just there, pubey. maybe shave for sex, you feel more sensation without pubes, plus someone…why do men have such strong opinions about pubes? men are stupid. shave pubes to ‘dress for the occasion.’ today’s occasion: the things you’ll do today. oh, the places you’ll go. pubeless.

•  walter mackey steak bites

•  you are supposed to mail things but the post office will be closed again you dipshit. you dipshit. oh well, just actually like, just do them now.

•  do i feel vyvannse? seems like…no…0.025% vyvanse effects. eat a little more adderall after the shower? but why, what are you even supposed to be doing?

4:49PM: found the underpants i was wearing moments before a penis entered my vagina for the first time, february 29, 2004.

4:51PM: i want to walk around a mall on a lot of drugs and document everything i see, like. hm. just be on a lot of molly, at a mall. this might be a shitty idea. shit. i want to do something like the ‘PRESS KIT’ movie tao and i made in taiwan. ‘made in taiwan:’ a phrase i have seen on many objects since childhood.

5:00PM: assembling packages. might…fucking. goddamn my stupid life. someone surprise me already.