4:29PM: sitting on bed. liveblog seems unhealthy. afraid to re-read things that aren’t the all-caps thing. all-caps thing seems like the only ‘good thing’ about this, maybe, right now, to me. i don’t know.

REMINDER OF MY GOAL: TO LIVEBLOG DAILY ACTIVITIES WITHOUT PRIVACY AS A FORM OF NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT, TO ‘ACT BETTER’

don’t really know what i meant by ‘act better.’ ‘get things done?’ i don’t know. i don’t know. it is raining. i am going to the grocery store. WHEN I GO TO THE GROCERY STORE I WILL WALK IN THE DOOR AND BUY THE THINGS I SAID I WOULD BUY, THEN I WILL LEAVE. MY DEAR CHILD, WHAT EVER STOPPED YOU FROM DOING SUCH PRACTICAL THINGS? seems so pointless…this entire thing…entire…jesus…laughing…wish someone would call me on the phone…kind of…

4:45PM: looked at phone, which has five missed calls, one voicemail, two texts. ‘rimshot.’

5:35PM: heard shower water stop running, then shower head made a hilarious long noise that i could probably imitate if you called me. email me for my phone number. would hang up immediately after making the noise. serious inquiries only. hope some compassionate person from the year 6013 finds and reads all of this and comes back in time to kill me relatively painlessly when i leave the house in a few minutes. wrote this paragraph to prove ‘you can still sound a certain way if you try, you don’t feel as bad as you thought’ to myself. making the shower noise at people on the phone then hanging up would also improve mood

if you’re going to do it, when i pick up the phone say ‘shower’ so i won’t make the noise to colin or someone else who’s supposed to call me about the apartment

no one is going to do this

just made the noise really quietly, i’m laughing, i’m practicing it for you shitheads, come at me

doing it again

did not laugh at all that time

6:19PM: someone called. this is what was said:

me: hello?

person: hi megan, i was wondering if you could do the shower noise at me?

me: oh man i think i kind of forget. i’m going to hang up right after.

person: ok

me: [makes noise, hangs up]

i’m still shaking from laughing from getting to do this. thank you, whoever called.

6:23PM: phone rang as i was typing previous update. i got really excited. it was dad. unknown number from portland oregon called and i said ‘hello’ in a playful way, extending ‘lo.’ docile confused older woman’s voice asked about my health insurance. seems like someone is giving my phone number to telemarketers and saying i was born 3/29/72. COME AT ME BRO I LIKE PHONE CALLS I’LL CORRECT TELEMARKETERS ON THE PHONE ALL DAY LONG WATCH ME.

6:29PM: responded to texts from mira and masha. stored masha’s number in my phone. person who called me asking for shower noise texted ‘how many people have called for the noise.’ i replied ‘just you.’ wanted to keep going like, ‘just you, just you baby, it’s always been you, only you, this entire time, you know it’s true’ but have them read it and it sounds like elvis.