6:35PM: i’m further letting the meta thing get in the way of writing about yesterday. it still seems interesting to me that i haven’t written it yet but you’ve already read it. trying to think of ways to further the meta thing. seems like it would just involve me being there the moment you were born, saying ‘you will read this someday. i want you to know that i haven’t fleshed out the section on march 29, 2013 yet.’ i’d need to type about going back in time to the hospital, to do that, in the liveblog.

8:20PM: zachary called to see where i was. have been writing about yesterday and feeling bored but committed to writing boring things. i said ‘i’m still writing.’ he said ‘we’re gonna go to the bbq barbeque burrito bar.’ the reception was bad. i said ‘you’re going to what?’ he said ‘barbeque burrito bar. we’re going.’ the ‘we’ meant him and travis, i think. i said ‘okay, sounds good.’ he said ‘alright’ or something. we kept interrupting each other without saying words. he said ‘so i’ll see you later’ and i said ‘want me to call when i leave?’ but he had already hung up.

9:44PM: finished writing yesterday. left out a lot. at some point dad entered apartment with cat food and said things about how he knew it wasn’t ‘the right kind’ but he got it anyway. he doesn’t like animals, and i think feels guilty about not liking them. he’s always interacted with our animals really weirdly. like. competitive, almost. resentful and competitive and aware that they have some kind of upper hand, which he pretends they don’t by like, being overly nice to them. putting on displays of niceness. he doesn’t seem to mind them overall, and mom has strong feelings about avoiding situations where things could get knocked over, so that’s why i’m staying here with the cats in april. dad said he was going over to mom’s to order pizza and watch ‘homeland’ and spend the night, i think. unsure if it makes sense for me to go to philadelphia. seems like a ‘waste’ to not go, but also no reason to go. feel like, connected to something, doing this. this seems like the only thing i’ve got going for me.

9:55PM: smelled something and thought ‘have been enjoying the multifaceted crotch stylings of my crotch.’ limited crotch stylings. crotch edition. i just like ‘crotch stylings,’ i think. like. sounds like an action movie star. my dad has christmas decorations everywhere, still. think christmas decorations have been up year-round in every place he’s lived since 2008. that’s just his style: christmas style. he just really likes christmas. jesus. that is very not true. sad.