“I…” He reached out, caught Bai Xue’s hands in his own, pushed his face into the spot where Bai Xue’s shoulder met his chest. “I just want to forget.”

Bai Xue pressed a kiss to the top of Xiaokai’s head. “How do you want me to help you?”

Take me out of the city. Take me far away. Put your hands around my neck and put me out of my misery.

But there was only real answer.

“Fuck me until I can’t think about anything else,” Xiaokai said, and Bai Xue kissed him again, right in the same spot on the top of Xiaokai’s head.

“Okay,” he said.

He didn’t go rough like Xiaokai had wanted. He was gentle as always—but he was relentless. Even after Xiaokai was long past spent, he kept going, his arms warm around Xiaokai, his body weight comfortingly suffocating as he moved into Xiaokai. At some point, Xiaokai realized he was weeping from the feeling of it, but Bai Xue just kissed his cheeks where the tears were gathering and kept going, wringing every last bit of Xiaokai’s energy until Xiaokai’s limbs felt like jelly, and Bai Xue had to carry him into the shower to wash the sweat and cum off. He kept the water pressure low and pleasantly warm, and used a soft washcloth to clean Xiaokai without aggravating his wounds.

“Do you need to apply medicine to these?”

Xiaokai shook his head. “I’ll just put some on when I get home.”

“Hm.” Bai Xue wrapped Xiaokai up in the towel and left him on the edge of the bathtub, going instead to search in the cupboards of the bathroom.

“What are you doing?”

“Looking for medicine. It isn’t good to leave them like that.” He finally found something he was satisfied with—some kind of disinfectant ointment—and set about gently applying it to Xiaokai’s skin. Xiaokai just stayed silent, watching Bai Xue and only moving when Bai Xue nudged him to get better access to other spots. “There. That should be fine.” Bai Xue put the cap on the medicine, tossed it into the sink, and then pressed a kiss to Xiaokai’s lips. “Let’s get you into bed to rest until the appointment is over.” He reached down and picked Xiaokai up again, cradling him in his arms and against his chest, and carried him back into the main room, where he nestled Xiaokai into the bed before he climbed in next to him and slotted their bodies together.

They were both silent for a few minutes.

“You know,” Bai Xue whispered, “I could give you anything you wanted.”

Xiaokai knew that. He knew that.

“It won’t always be like this. It won’t always hurt like this.”