He knew Bai Xue was trying to comfort him, but he also didn’t know how to tell the man that he wanted it to hurt. That the hurt was the only reason why he could function like he did.

“If you ever need…this…again, make an appointment with me. I’ll take care of you. I’ll help you without hurting you like this. Xiaokai.” Bai Xue took Xiaokai’s chin and turned it so he could kiss him again. “Do you hear me?”

Xiaokai nodded.

“Don’t cry, love.” Bai Xue swiped away his tears with one finger. “Do you need help getting dressed? It’s almost the end of the appointment.”

Xiaokai shook his head and burrowed into Bai Xue’s embrace, squeezing his eyes shut. “It’s fine. I don’t have anywhere to go after this.”

Leave, Xiaokai. Don’t show favoritism to any of your clients.

“Is that okay?” he asked, and Bai Xue let out a soft huff of a laugh.

“Of course it’s okay, Xiaokai, love. Stay here as long as you like.”

WHEN THE PARTY started dwindling at around three in the morning, Xingyu finally found a moment to break away from the rest of the crowd and start looking for his didi. He’d seen him some at the beginning of the party—he’d mostly stuck to himself, staying close enough to the edge to get out of the main fray of conversation but not so far that it was impolite. At some point, he’d disappeared from Xingyu’s view—or Xingyu had disappeared from his view—and he didn’t see him again.

He faked having some important task to do as he moved through the crowd, and most people just stepped out of his way at the sight of the painted-on determination. Where was he? He still wasn’t sure what he was going to say to him, but he knew he wanted to say something. Even just a “I’m here for you, I’m never leaving again” should suffice, even if Xiao-Xiao didn’t believe it.

“Ba!” Xingyu caught up with his father as he headed to another room. “Do you know where Xiao-Xiao is?”

If Xingyu didn’t know his father any better, he would say his ba almost looked amused. “Why is it every time there’s a gathering like this, you’re looking for your brother?”

“I was just wondering. I haven’t seen him in a bit.”

Ba waved his hand, dismissing him. “Go ask your mother. I don’t make a point to keep track of him.”

He found Sun Yue sitting by the fireplace, holding an empty champagne flute.

“Laoma.”