Sitting on his four-wheeler, Shawn was quiet. Whether he did it because he knew she was struggling or because he just didn’t have much to say, she didn’t know. Staying quiet was something that seemed to come naturally to him.

Finally he said, “You okay?”

“Today’s David’s eighteenth birthday.”

“Oh, wow.” Shawn stepped off the machine and turned to her. “Does that mean you guys can talk now?”

“Well, he’s legally old enough to reach out to me if he wants to.”

“Would he know how?”

“Shawn, I haven’t updated my records since he was a baby. Then I moved. Married you.”

“Do you want to talk to him?”

The question sent a shiver through her. To admit the longing inside was more difficult than harboring it. “I don’t think he’d want to talk to me. He probably hates me for what I did.”

Shawn always bobbed his head when he disagreed with something but didn’t want to come out and say it. After a pause he said, “Well, there’s only one way to find out.”

“So you think I should call the law office?”

“I think you take it a step at a time. Call them and update your file so that when he wants to get in touch with you, he has the information.”

“It’s that simple for you? Just make a phone call?”

Shawn gave her his teddy bear look. It was a look that said he wasn’t going to fight even if she wanted to. “It’s not like you’re inviting him to move in with us. All you’re doing is updating the information in case he wants to reach out to you.”

“And what if he doesn’t want to?”

“Then you’ll deal with that. We’ll deal with that.”

“But what if he does want to reach out?”

Teddy bear look again.

“Shawn, if he gets in touch, I’ll need to tell Courtney.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t give me that look. I hate it when you look at me like that.”

Shawn rubbed his beard and pursed his lips. It was the same look he gave when he couldn’t figure out why the grill wouldn’t light. “Listen, I have enough faith to believe that if David never gets in touch with you, God’s grace will be enough. He’ll help you get through it. And if he does get in touch with you, I believe God will give you the ability to talk with him and begin a relationship you’ve never had. Either way, you’re going to be good.”

“And what about Courtney? She’s going to hate me for giving her brother away. She’s never even met him.”

“I don’t think she’s going to hate you. Courtney loves you, Melissa. She may not fully understand, she may have some hard questions, but give her a chance.”

“A chance to what?”