To Jimmy, Susan’s words about the crib were a punch in the gut. He tried not to let her see his reaction. He had forced a smile and given her a gentle pushback. She had left smiling. She’d said she loved him. And it made him wonder if perhaps her request was a test. He hadn’t given up on using that crib and that room. Sure, they had gone through the wringer with Michael and John, and his heart was just as broken as hers. But instead of giving up, he felt more committed to fatherhood than ever, though he wasn’t sure why.

Perhaps Susan had mentioned the crib to see if his resolve was still steady. They had applied for adoption and had gone through the entire process, even to the point of hearing a baby might be available. Then came the silence and the eventual call.

“We’re so sorry.”

Susan slipped into a depression, but it wasn’t so much a slip as a free fall. Jimmy helped as much as he could, but it was only when they pulled their application that she was able to find a semblance of peace.

He thought about their playful exchange over the cookies. That was one way he could tell they were getting back to themselves—to be able to laugh and have fun with each other was a sign they had progressed. And the laughter felt good.

So what does it look like to love your wife in this situation?

He saw the phone on the desk and walked to it and opened the directory. At the front was the number for the adoption agency he and Susan had chosen. What would happen if he called? What would happen if they gave this one more try? But he couldn’t do that without Susan’s okay. If another adoption fell through . . .

He picked up the phone and dialed the number. A pleasant voice answered.

“Yes, this is Jimmy Colton. I’d like to resubmit our letter and application, please.”

“I’ll be glad to help you, Mr. Colton,” the woman said.

CHAPTER 6

Melissa had learned from an early age not to ask for help. A responsible person does things herself, figures things out on her own. If you rely on others, you’ll become dependent, and people will always let you down. You must pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.

This mindset was partly due to how she was raised. After her parents divorced, her father had married another woman with her own kids, and Melissa watched him spend more time with them than her. His new wife never got along with Melissa, and soon it became obvious that the best thing to do was to get out of the house.