But before Heidi could make her wish, SueEllen piped up:

“Better wish for a new nose.”

It was as if Heidi were frozen in her chair, the way she kept sitting there, eyes lowered, not moving a muscle. Oh, God, I prayed. Please don’t let her cry. Not in front of all these people.

But Heidi didn’t cry. At last, she raised her face and was surprisingly dry-eyed.

“No, SueEllen,” she said. “That’s not my wish. Here’s my wish: I wish you were dead. Too bad I said it out loud. Now it probably won’t come true.”

Then she blew out the candles, every damn one of them, and walked out of the room.

For once in her life, SueEllen Kingsley was speechless.

For once in my life, I didn’t stick around for birthday cake.

I hurried out into the foyer, looking for Heidi, but she was nowhere in sight. I headed upstairs, figuring she’d gone to her room. I had no idea where Heidi’s bedroom was, so I ran down the hallway opening doors at random. At last I found a room painted a hideous hot pink. Heidi was lying on her bed in her bra and panties, staring up at the ceiling, perhaps remembering the fluffy clouds her mother had once painted for her. She’d taken off her ugly party dress and tossed it carelessly on the floor.

“I wish I had a fireplace so I could burn that thing.”

“Heidi, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she said, sitting up.

And she was. I’d expected to find her bawling her eyes out, but she was surprisingly calm. I sat down at the edge of her bed, and smoothed her bangs away from her face.

“I’ve made up my mind,” she said. “I won’t let SueEllen hurt me any more. I’m not scared of her. Or of Daddy, either. I don’t care what they do to me. They can send me away to boarding school. In fact, I hope they do.”

“I’d hate to see you go, but I think you’d be happier away from SueEllen.”

Heidi flopped back onto her pillow and sighed.

“Oh, Jaine, why couldn’t Daddy have married someone like you?”

“Because your daddy thinks with his penis, that’s why.”

Of course, I didn’t really say that. What I said was, “If I’m ever a mother, I hope my daughter turns out just like you.”

Then I kissed her on her forehead.

“It’s late. I’d better be going.”

I started for the door when she called to me.

“Jaine.”

“Yes?”

“I don’t really wish SueEllen was dead.”

“I know you don’t.”

“I just wish she was fat and broke and living in Tijuana.”

Yep, Heidi was my kind of daughter, all right.

Downstairs, the party was breaking up. People were suddenly remembering babysitters they had to pay and early morning appointments they had to get up for. Anything to make their escape.

SueEllen was busy air-kissing them all goodbye, promising to “do lunch,” floating from one to the other as if her party hadn’t just imploded into a million pieces.