Finally, one of the teachers pressed an emergency button, and a pulsating alarm made us all jump.

Samantha coughed, the color returning to her cheeks. Adam helped her sit up, wrapped her in a giant hug. Watching him, warmth grew in my belly, and for the first time in months, a glimmer of hope that someone decent existed—that the world wasn’t always cruel—blossomed in my brain.

I would have sat by and watched Samantha die.

Sniffling, I acknowledge the worst truth about me. Leaning against a tree, I squeeze my eyes shut against the hot tears rolling down my cheeks.

I was so insecure—a slave to approval from others—that I couldn’t save a life. She asked for help, and I was too much of a coward to give it to her. Pathetic.

Pressing my lips together, I fill my lungs with crisp night air, and it helps to clear my head. But at least I can admit it. By recognizing my weaknesses, I can overcome them. I can be better. I’m not that person anymore.

Never again.

The weight of the memory lifts, and I breathe easier. We all come from somewhere, have demons, but we all deserve a chance. It’s not my job to judge anyone but myself. And I have to love myself, forgive myself. It’s all so clear. It’s time to act, to make this my home. I should go to the party. I should try my hardest to win the Quest, prove to everyone I belong here—prove to myself that I belong here—that I’m part of the team.

Standing, I hike through the snow until I find everyone. Obscured by the shadow of a tree, I observe for a minute before joining them. I’m honest with myself—I know who I’m seeking. The energy required to resist him is too much, and I don’t bother trying.

Rayelle, Sophia, and Stewart are easy to find, huddled together, wearing school-issued coats. Nearby, Chloe and Harbor are perched on low tree branches, hair flipping as they talk to Liam and Kyran. The uninitiated are all there, mingling in the misty forest, drinking from vintage red cups. Everyone except me, that is, and except… Why can’t I find him?

I promised Allard I’d practice sharpening my instincts, so I focus on Garrett, hoping I’ll get an idea of his location.

“What are you doing out here alone?”

Jumping, I whip around. “Garrett?” I whisper, my mind reeling.

How did he sneak up on me? Or did I send out what I was hoping to attract? My stomach twists.

Stepping forward into the moonlight, I plaster wide-eyed innocence on my face. “I could ask you the same thing.”