“If she won’t move, we’ll have to sit on her,” he says.

They all pile onto her, then, squishing in close, smothering her. I’m supposed to join them, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I wish I could stop them, but I can’t do that, either. I back away from the scene.

She doesn’t know what to do—looks wildly around, her face bright red—until she gives up. Grabbing her bag, she squeezes herself out from under them and is subjected to the stares—and probably worse, the pity—of the entire school.

My stomach twists. Then and now. How could I be so cruel? She probably was the only worthwhile person in that place.

My sinuses burn.

“Don’t judge yourself,” Allard says softly. “Forgive that side of you. Acknowledge it, destroy it, and let it go. You will do better, be better. You already are.”

Keeping my eyes closed, I nod. It’s in the past. I’m not that person anymore. I was weak, insecure, needed validation, and had to cut down others to feel okay about myself. I have confidence now. I think back to how mean Chloe was to Rayelle, and I know what I have to do. I will defend those who can’t stand up for themselves. If someone is hurting, I will do something about it. I will find the good in everyone and help them see the gifts they have to offer. As I take the vow, relief that I’ve acknowledged my shortcomings rushes through me. I will speak up. I’ll be like Adam.

As soon as he pops into my head, I fall down a rabbit hole of memory.

As I’m backing away from my “friends,” I bump into someone tall and strong and solid. Turning around, I look up into those mesmerizing watery blue eyes that crinkle at the corners when he recognizes me. We haven’t talked since that day in Self-Awareness. Fearing Lil’s wrath, I’ve kept my distance, and lately he’s been attending class virtually anyway. According to his Networks—which I only stalk when I’m in bed, buried under my covers with my Life Stream turned off—he’s been surfing a lot. Even though a relationship with him is impossible—Lil aside, I’m not sure I’d be good for his numbers—I fantasize about what it would be like to be with him. I wish I could ask Quinn, our household AI, who is my other BFF, aside from Deena. Even though she’s not human, she understands me better than anyone. Nobody in my family makes a move without running the numbers with Quinn first. She could tell me with almost 100 percent certainty if the public would like Adam and me together, but I can’t ask her. Letting my true feelings be known outside of my Book of Secrets is too risky. Everything is so connected; it could find its way back to Lil. No information is safe.

“It’s my lucky day,” he says, his Australian accent weaving his words into a symphony. “Just the girl I’ve been looking for. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”