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Chapters (53)
  1. Dedication
  2. Chapter One
  3. Chapter Two
  4. Chapter Three
  5. Chapter Four
  6. Chapter Five
  7. Chapter Six
  8. Chapter Seven
  9. Chapter Eight
  10. Chapter Nine
  11. Chapter Ten
  12. Chapter Eleven
  13. Chapter Twelve
  14. Chapter Thirteen
  15. Chapter Fourteen
  16. Chapter Fifteen
  17. Chapter Sixteen
  18. Chapter Seventeen
  19. Chapter Eighteen
  20. Chapter Nineteen
  21. Chapter Twenty
  22. Chapter Twenty-One
  23. Chapter Twenty-Two
  24. Chapter Twenty-Three
  25. Chapter Twenty-Four
  26. Chapter Twenty-Five
  27. Chapter Twenty-Six
  28. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  29. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  30. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  31. Chapter Thirty
  32. Chapter Thirty-One
  33. Chapter Thirty-Two
  34. Chapter Thirty-Three
  35. Chapter Thirty-Four
  36. Chapter Thirty-Five
  37. Chapter Thirty-Six
  38. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  39. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  40. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  41. Chapter Forty
  42. Chapter Forty-One
  43. Chapter Forty-Two
  44. Chapter Forty-Three
  45. Chapter Forty-Four
  46. Chapter Forty-Five
  47. Chapter Forty-Six
  48. Chapter Forty-Seven
  49. Epilogue
  50. Preview of Malice
  51. Preview of Incognito
  52. Acknowledgments
  53. About the Author

“I don’t give second chances, and you already used your first,” she said, slamming the door behind her, plunging me into blackness.

My lungs heaving, I threw my hands over my head and curled into a ball, silently screaming. I don’t know how long I lay there, tears streaming, fighting to breathe, but I cried until I had no tears left, until my throat was raw and my jaw ached. Until I knew I couldn’t waste any more time for fear she’d return and finish me off.

Right then, I bottled up my feelings, turned them off, buried them so deep I’d need a treasure map to find them. I understood the flat look in Deena’s eyes, the one that took my friend. Like her, I had to die inside.

It was the only way I was going to survive.

Fresh tears roll down my cheeks. I hate that I didn’t help her. I have no excuse for my behavior. Inaction is participation and I am guilty, guilty, guilty. But no more. Never again.

From now on, I act.

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

December 31, 20X5, Keystone

Deep in the woods, my feet crunch through the snow in a clearing encased by a small circle of sequoias that protect me from the icy wind. My teeth chattering, I burrow into my school-issued puffy black jacket, tightening the fur-trimmed hood around my face. Tonight is the Into the Woods party, and I haven’t decided if I’m attending. My mind is stuck in the past, wandering back to exactly one year ago, to the start of the year that erased everything. I want to be alone—to reflect, to process—to remember. I owe it to Adam. But I also owe it to myself to begin my new life. I have to let go.

The moon is full overhead, yellow against midnight blue, and my shadow stretches long across the snow, a taffy-pulled version of me. Allard hasn’t been able to convince Garrett to get a brain scan—thank God, I’m not looking forward to that comparison—but my last scan showed I’ve made significantly more connections. My mood is brighter, and my instincts have never been sharper, but I’ve been avoiding recalling my lowest point. The memory is too painful to write. Still, if I’m going to continue improving, I have to face it. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and relive that horrible afternoon.