“Happy?” The word is foreign. “I’m not sure that’s possible.”

“Maybe this will help.” Reaching into her bag, she pulls out a tiny black velvet box and hands it to me.

Running my fingers over the fuzzy surface, I will myself to focus on it, to stay present. I can process everything in bed tonight. I open the box, and nestled inside is a stone with amber and charcoal gradations polished to a silky luster.

“Consider it a gift from a friend,” Allard says. “The color reminds me of your eyes.”

“What is it?”

“Tiger’s eye. It’s thought to increase perception. The Egyptians used it as the eyes in their statues of deities as a symbol of divine vision.”

“Is that science?” I ask. Picking up the stone, I expect it to vibrate with energy, but it remains cool and flat in my hand.

She laughs. “It’s history. And antiquity is worth studying. Maybe the Egyptians knew something our brains have forgotten over time. Personally, I think there are frequencies at work we can’t see. Do you feel them sometimes? A buzzing in your spine? The rushing of your blood?”

Garrett instantly pops into my mind. “Maybe. I don’t know,” I say, quickly pushing him out of my head, fearing she can read my thoughts.

“You will.” She closes my hand over the stone. “Tiger’s eye also aids determination and protects against the negative intent of others. Hang on to it. You might need it.”

I wince. “I hope not.”

“Me, too. But all the same, I want to keep you safe, Elisha. And I’m here to help you. We don’t have to start tonight, but I think we should practice trusting your intuition. If you can let go of past assumptions and start over with a fresh, open mind, your instincts will be your secret weapon.”

“How am I supposed to do that?”

“I believe you once kept a diary?” she asks, again reaching into her bag, this time pulling out a little leather-bound book. It reminds me so much of my Book of Secrets, goose bumps shoot up my arms.

Taking the journal, I nod.

“Maybe reliving the events that brought you here will be therapeutic. Analyzing your initial reactions to situations when already knowing the outcome will help you learn what to trust.”

My trembling hands cradle the book. “I don’t know if I can do that. The only way I’m surviving is by focusing on the future.”

“But I think the only way you can move forward is to forgive the past so you can set clear intentions for the future. You need to confront and accept yourself in order to be free from judgment—of yourself and others. Are you willing to try?”

Freedom from judgment… I’d love that… I close my eyes, terror and hope colliding in my chest. What do I have to lose? Maybe it’s time to say goodbye.

“I think so.” Sighing, I open my eyes. “Where do I start?”

Allard smiles. “How about with what caused your death?”