I gnaw on my cheek. Marching up to Bandit was completely out of character for me. Lalana would know. I mean, she knows that I once accidentally killed my goldfish because I fed it freshly baked cookies. Of course she’s going to figure out when I’m confessing to a nonexistent crush.

Fortunately, she automatically assumed I was looking out for her. Right before my confession, she’d spilled water on herself—in the exact spot that made it look like she had wet her pants. She thought I made a scene just to distract our classmates so that she could slip away unseen.

“Announcing that you’re crushing on Bandit is a little over-the-top,” she said, her eyes shining. “But I love you for it.”

“It’s what we do,” I responded faintly. “What we always do.”

And it’s true. From the day we met, Lalana and I have been covering for each other—literally. On the first day of my brand-new middle school, I ripped my jeans, revealing my Sonic the Hedgehog underwear. Even though we’d never spoken, Lalana took off her sweater and handed it to me. We’ve been inseparable ever since.

I hate lying to my best friend. Hate it. But the Voice said not to tell anyone, and until I find out more about who—or what—she is, I’m not sure I should disobey.

“Are you going to respond to him?” Lalana asks.

My fingers are already scrambling across the screen. I’m not going to sell her out, though, even if she did give me permission. I would never do that.

Me: The only thing big about you is your head! Listen. I don’t know you. I don’t like you. I was dared to tell a stranger that I loved him. End of story.

Most Obnoxious Boy Alive: Even if that’s true…which it’s probably not…u picked me. How come?

Me: Because you happened to be there?

Most Obnoxious Boy Alive: Nice try. The lawn was filled w people. U could’ve picked anybody. But u chose me. & I know why

Me: Really? Well, enlighten me, O Wise One. (This ought to be good.)

Most Obnoxious Boy Alive: Cuz of my big, big…toe

I stare at the screen in disbelief. And then I let out a bark of laughter.

“What is it?” Lalana asks.

“Nothing.” I shake my head, resolutely tucking the phone in my back pocket. “He’s just being…”

She lifts her eyebrows knowingly. “Cute?”

“Definitely not,” I say quickly. “Annoying. Obnoxious. Full of himself. Did I say annoying?”

A small smile crosses her lips, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Listen,” she says. “I know he can be charming or whatever, but I don’t think you should get to know Bandit any more. Trust me—striking up a relationship with him will only make things harder.”