“I won’t have one, either. Wouldn’t want you to feel left out, Betsy,” Nicki says. “But if you’re interested, I have something else that won’t be so hard on your system.” She clicks open a compartment on her bracelet and reveals a treasure trove of herbs. “They’re all natural and organic. Medicine from the farm.”

“Sure,” I say, knowing I need to bond with her. Whatever it takes.

She smiles. “Follow me.”

Adam/Eric gets drinks for everyone, and Nicki takes us upstairs to an unaugmented lounge that looks like an old movie palace, with gold wallpaper and red velvet carpets and furniture. I’m relieved to be coming up for air, to emerge from the sea to a space where unaugmented beauty is acceptable.

Nicki curls onto a couch, tucking her feet under her, and I take a seat in the chair across from her. Garrett sits in a chair next to me while Adam/Eric and Joanna join Nicki on the couch.

“These things are so boring sometimes.” She packs the herbs into a jewel-encrusted pipe. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the farm, but it gets old having to be ‘on’ all the time, to look like I’m having the time of my life.” Lighting the herbs, she takes a puff and passes it to Joanna. “I don’t know what I’d do without Eric.” She exhales. “He’s the only one who gets me.”

She’s just like me. The instinct is so strong it almost knocks me off my feet. I know exactly what she wants to hear.

“What about me?” Joanna asks, taking a big hit of the herbs. She coughs. “I’ve known you longer.” She hands the pipe to me.

Nicki bats her eyelashes. “You know I love you, babe. You get me in other ways.”

Adam/Eric squeezes Nicki’s knee. My heart squeezes right along with it. It was all a lie. He was playing me. If my instincts are supposed to be so great, where were they on this one? The wasted nights I spent crying over him come rushing back, and I’d love to cross the room and punch him in the stomach.