“That’s what I’m talking about!” I throw my hands in the air, pissed off. “Who cares if I sound gay? That’s not a bad thing. Don’t say it like it’s a bad thing.” I say it maybe a little too loud, and I see that everyone on the team is eyeing me now. Camden looks like he wants to crawl in a hole and die, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t handle this correctly.

“Um . . .” Bates looks confused. “I don’t want to sound gay because I’m not fucking gay. And I don’t want to suck off Dixon or anyone.” He shoves Dean, who shoves him back, but it’s all halfhearted.

“But if you were,” I say, and I feel Camden’s hand on my shoulder, but it’s not comfort. He’s squeezing it.

“No one is gay. Stop.”

All eyes are on us now and shit . . . this backfired. “I know no one is gay, but they don’t need to be saying it like that. Maybe they just don’t like each other,” I say, annoyed by all the confusion, like what they were doing was normal, and I’m the weird one.

Camden does grace me with a small smile before going into team captain mode. “So, you’re saying that guys fist-fight for other reasons? That they may not want to fuck each other?” There’s sarcasm and charm dripping from his words, and I roll my eyes while everyone else laughs. I see things so much more clearly now that he’s told me the truth. I see the pain behind his charisma. I know he’s had to be charismatic to survive this town.

“Yes,” I say, but I hate that he’s covering. I know what he’s doing. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“Good to know.” He pats my shoulder in a placating way.

“Jesus Christ. You all are fucking crazy,” Bates says as he finishes getting ready, but I just have an icky feeling in my gut.

I wanted to stand up for Camden and anyone else who may be gay or bi or whatever, but that was just an epic fail. I didn’t change anything. Next time someone gets into a fight around here, they’re going to use the same words and the same teasing bullshit they did today, but I hate it.

And yes, I know it’s fucked up that I never said anything before. That I didn’t think about it as much as I do now. I know I should have, even without knowing about Camden, but maybe we all need that to push us to do the right thing. Maybe that’s what it takes for us to do that. Right or not, having a gay best friend makes me more conscious of every fucked-up thing being said about gay people.