I don’t know what would happen if I did, but I can guess. And it would be bad.

“LeAnn, I . . .” Have absolutely no words. She’s not going to out me, is she? She wouldn’t do that.

Her small palm rests on my jeans-clad thigh, and her eyes reveal a kindness that almost calms my panic. “I’ll never tell anyone. Ever. I just wanted you to know you can talk to me if you want to. It has to be lonely.”

I want to trust her, but I don’t trust anyone. Not with this secret. Not one that could destroy my life when I’m so damn close to getting out.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say with a hard swallow as I look up at the full moon through the surrounding trees.

“Right.” She doesn’t sound annoyed at all. She even sounds like she’s smiling. “Hell, if you want me to, I can tell the whole school you totally rocked my world this weekend. Ruined me for all other guys.”

A laugh catches in my throat as I look back at her, and she smiles mischievously. “Uh . . . Yeah, no thanks. And who uses that expression, anyway?”

She laughs, shrugging her shoulder before bumping it into mine again. “Whatever. I’m just saying. There’s nothing wrong with it, you know?”

Dread swims in my gut because I know that. But I didn’t think anyone else living here did. And I’m not even sure how the people close to me would feel about it. My gaze unwillingly goes to Kingston, who’s come up for air long enough to drink some more, his big arm draped over Kennedy’s shoulders.

“Does he know?” LeAnn’s voice is quiet.

I shake my head slowly, uneasiness and guilt warring inside me. I hate that I haven’t told him, that I just keep pushing it away. That I just tell him I don’t have time to date, or I’ll date in college instead of the truth. I’m terrified if I tell him, he’ll be the one to push me away.

“You should tell him. He loves you.”

I shake my head again. “I can’t. I can’t lose him.”

“You really think he’s a bigot?” I turn my attention back to her, hating that deep down, I don’t know. I know his dad. I know I’ve heard words coming out of his mouth that were hateful and said like a joke.

I know how he was raised. The way we were all raised.

“I don’t know,” I say the truth that lies bitterly on my tongue.

She wraps her small arm around me and leans her head on my shoulder. “I don’t think he is, Cam. I think he has a good heart and you’re his best friend. He’ll want you to be happy.