“Phillip came back a couple of months ago. He came into the tavern, and it just sort of happened. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but I hadn’t seen him since he left, and he’s still so damn sweet.”

“Phillip is the father?”

She nods. “Yes.”

“I don’t get it, Mom. If he’s so nice and good, and hell, you loved him once, why won’t you tell him about the baby?”

I’m pissed off now. Why would she rather burden me than him?

“I . . .” she stutters. “I was scared. His life is perfect now, and I just . . .” She sobs quietly. “I just ruin lives. I ruined your father’s.” More tears fall as she looks at me. “I ruined yours.”

“No.” I pull away from her and stand up from the table, wobbly on my feet and fighting nausea. “You haven’t yet, Mom. But you will if you won’t tell him.”

There are my balls. Thank. Fuck.

“I can’t keep taking care of you. I’m a kid.” I point to my chest, years of anger and resentment coming to the surface. “I want to go to school. I need this. I’m begging you to tell him. Have him take care of his kid.”

I hate how weak I sound, but I’m desperate. “I will.” She nods her head, determined and seemingly making up her mind. “I’m calling him today. I’m going to finally be the mom you deserve. I’m so sorry, sweetie.” She stands up and brushes her hand over my cheek. “So sorry. I know I haven’t been fair to you and that I’ve leaned on you like we were some sort of team we never should have been. I’m so sorry.”

I can feel her guilt, but instead of trying to fix it, I decide to let her sit with it for a moment. “I want to go to college.”

“And you are. I won’t have you staying here.”

“But I need to know you and Lucy and this new baby will be okay.” Because I do need that. I know that about myself, no matter how angry I am with her.

“I promise. I’ll call Phillip. I don’t want to be a kept woman or anything, but at least he can help financially.”

I nod my head once, hating that I’m not sure I believe her. “Maybe you guys will get your second chance.”

She smiles but waves that thought away. “I don’t think so. He’s all fancy and sophisticated. I work in a distribution plant and at a tavern.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Mom. You’re smart. You just never had a chance to follow your dreams. Maybe this will give you that chance.”

She pulls me into a tight hug, and after a moment, I hug her back. “I love you. So much.”