‘Well, hello again!’ Pia reached down, hand extended, and Nesbit squirmed his way past me and out the front door into the evening sunshine, proudly depositing my red lacy knickers at her feet.

‘Whoops!’ Pia said, scooping them up and handing them to me, while Sam suddenly became fascinated with the trees on the other side of the road.

‘Fab brand,’ Pia leant in and whispered. ‘They do the most gorgeous bottle-green bralette that would look divine with your hair. So comfy you don’t even notice you’re wearing it.’

‘Right… thanks.’

‘Anyway, Sam – stop messing about so Ollie can get back to her evening.’

Sam turned back around, looking me squarely in the eye as he handed the cool bag over. ‘Thanks again. It was a really great meal.’

It was all I could do to nod while feebly clutching the bag until they’d moved away so I could shoo Nesbit inside and slam the door, sliding down onto the welcome mat and burying my head in my hands.

On Saturday, I drove into the city to have breakfast with Steph. This time Nicky and Drew joined us, so I had to wait until they’d moved off to play football on the computer before I could fill Steph in on my solo date.

‘I don’t know what was worse, flashing my chest or the knickers.’

‘What’s worse is you telling him you’re off dating, when he clearly was hinting about asking you out, and now he thinks you were either on a date or at the very least hooking up with someone. The obvious conclusion is that you are interested in dating, just not him.’

‘Ugh.’ I tipped forwards until my forehead rested on the table. ‘It’s the complete opposite! I’m not dating but I am interested in him!’

‘I told you to order a size twelve; that brand has no respect for women with fuller breasts.’

‘I told him about the Dream List. Maybe he’ll figure out that I was having a fancy night in by myself.’

‘Even better.’ Steph picked up the curtain of hair covering my face, and bent her nose to mine. ‘Maybe he’ll think you saw it was him out the window and popped open a couple of buttons with every intention of inviting him in, until his mum showed up.’

‘That is not better!’ I closed my eyes. ‘I really like Sam and I want him to like me. Whether he thinks I was hooking up with someone else, or trying in some crass and creepy way to seduce him, neither of those things are me, or like anything I would do.’

‘Well, it’s clearly something you want to do, or it wouldn’t be on the Dream List.’