‘Again, I am so sincerely sorry,’ I garbled, backing out onto the porch, still carrying Nesbit. ‘He was on a lead, but took us by surprise and escaped our grip. If there’s anything I can do, anything at all, please just say. I’m a pretty good cook… or I could do the washing up… once I’ve taken Joan and Nesbit home.’

‘For goodness’ sake, just go!’ Sam’s dad roared.

We didn’t need telling again.

By the time we’d found our way back home, the air was cool and twilight hung over the treetops. Nesbit happily scampered through the back gate and over to my door, waiting to be let in.

‘Will your mum be worried?’ I asked Joan, pausing to say goodnight.

‘Nah. I messaged her that I’d broken into a strange man’s house in the middle of the woods, stolen his chicken and gatecrashed a birthday party, so not to expect me home until late.’

I blew out a long sigh.

‘Too soon for jokes?’

‘Waaaaay too soon. Try me again after I’ve spent the night replaying the horror over and over a squillion times, and failing to sleep a wink due to drowning in my own shame.’

‘It was just a chicken!’

‘Yeah.’

It was just me, trying to survive out here in the big wide world alone, handling adult responsibilities and navigating each day without starting wars with librarians, annoying my neighbours or ruining birthday parties.

Sunday, I left the Dream List well alone.

9

Thanks to now being a dog owner, I couldn’t, however, spend the day hiding under my duvet as hoped. Nesbit allowed me the luxury of a seven a.m. Sunday lie-in before sniffing me awake. A strong coffee, a red and blue sticker and a very cute gambol around the garden later, I was ready to start working on my atonement. I spent the latter half of the morning in the farm shop at Hatherstone Hall, where Leanne worked on Saturdays, and most of the afternoon chopping, mixing, baking and roasting.

I then showered and changed into my most respectable-yet-flattering summer dress, because despite the No-Man Mandate, I still couldn’t help wanting Sam to think well of me. I twisted my red hair into a bun and did my best to apply some natural-look make-up. I then spent quite a while online trying to figure out how to get to Sam’s house via car. Once I was reasonably convinced I’d sussed it, I loaded up and went to see if I could earn my redemption.

Only a handful of wrong turns later, I reached the end of a single-lane track, opened a wide wooden gate and pulled up onto a circular gravel driveway on the opposite side of Sam’s house to where I’d approached from the day before.