And with that, Sam stalked off. I attempted to follow him, given that I had no idea where we were, but Nesbit dug his heels in and ducked his head, determined to stay.

‘Are you serious right now?’ I glanced at the time on my phone. ‘I’ve a party starting in thirty minutes.’

I gave a sharp tug on the lead, but after taking a couple of steps forwards, he suddenly turned around, using the momentum to drag me several feet back into the clearing before I could stop him. ‘What’s going on, boy? Have you found a good smell, is that why you ended up here?’

After another fruitless tug-of-war, where I grew increasingly sweaty and annoyed, and Nesbit began whining and barking with agitation, I gave up, scooping him up and carrying him until we were closer to the cottage than the clearing. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be more exciting than the smell of Drew firing up the barbecue.

‘Oh thank goodness!’ Steph hollered, as we walked through the gate. ‘I’ve asked everyone on the list to push it back to seven thirty, but if anyone arrives before then I can keep them entertained. First things first.’ She wrinkled up her nose as she came close enough to take Nesbit’s lead. ‘Shower.’

33

‘I’ve changed my mind.’ I slumped onto the bed, lowering my head between my knees in the hope I wouldn’t faint. Then again, if I did faint, maybe it would stop this madness before it started. ‘This was a terrible idea and I don’t want to do it any more. You’ll just have to cancel. Make up an excuse about me being too upset after losing Nesbit or something.’

The doorbell rang for the second time.

‘Too late.’ Steph grinned. ‘Food’s all ready, the garden looks incredible and you look even better. Just keep reminding yourself that in four hours the Dream List will be done, the No-Man Mandate terminated and you can sit back and celebrate completing what you set out to achieve.’

She took hold of my hand and gave it a squeeze. ‘I’m proud of you, Ollie. Now go and show everyone what a fully functional, independent adult you are.’