‘You’re too nice, this is your problem!’ she cried, causing Irene Jenkins to flinch as though Yasmin had screamed in her ear. ‘If you act like a pushover then of course everyone is going to push you right over and trample on your face. Dogs especially.’

I cringed at the accuracy of her statement. Was it that obvious?

‘So what can I do about it?’ I asked. ‘I mean, when it comes to Nesbit.’

‘Show him that you are the boss!’ She pointed at the ceiling to emphasis the point. ‘Fun, kind, generous boss. But still the boss. He needs to respect you. Otherwise before you know it you’ll be feeding him steak and smoked salmon. You have to show him his place.’

‘I totally agree,’ a tiny woman bent over her walking stick said as she hobbled past. ‘Teach him who’s boss, and make sure he don’t forget it. A husband needs to stay in his place. Earn his steak.’

‘Um, that’s not actually…’ I tried to interrupt, but Trev, who had just appeared, got there first.

‘Excuse me,’ he said, folding bulging arms. ‘That’s a load of codswallop. How about mutual respect, love and understanding? What she said is verging on abusive, and to be honest, Ollie, I’m shocked you would sit here listening to this rubbish.’

Yasmin sprang to her feet, eyes blazing. ‘Abusive? How dare you accuse me of that! You never even met me before. I would never hurt a living creature. I don’t even touch the slugs in my vegetable pots.’

‘Oh, so now you’re comparing us to slugs?’ Trev shook his head in disgust. ‘If a man spoke about controlling a woman like that, we’d be locked up. And I speak from experience. I met enough men like you in prison to know where that attitude leads.’

Yasmin looked as though she was indeed on the verge of doing something abusive. ‘Men like me!’ she yelled. ‘Prison!’ She waved her hands around in frustration before jabbing one arm forward and poking Trev in his belly, which was about her shoulder height. ‘Take that back! This is nothing like the same and only an ignorant fool would say it is.’

I’d only met Trev twice before. I knew that none of his convictions had involved violence, but who knew what being poked and insulted might trigger. Besides, who knew what defensive skills Yasmin had picked up in her past. She might not be the one at risk here. I quickly got up and attempted to insert myself between them. ‘She was talking about dogs,’ I said firmly to Trev, before turning to Yasmin, holding my hands out to create some distance between them. ‘He overheard the woman say “husband”, and thought you were talking about men.’

‘What?’

‘Eh?’

My two ReadUp clients eyed each other suspiciously for a moment.