I turned around to see Sam, his face a bland mask that looked as though it might disintegrate if he attempted one of his usual friendly smiles.

‘Sam, hi!’ I chirruped, massively overcompensating for his lack of warmth. ‘You made it! That’s amazing!’ I did not sound amazed. More like dazed.

‘You must be Leon,’ Sam said, in a tone that for anyone else would seem reasonable, but for Sam was verging on frosty.

‘Yeah, hi. Nice to meet you. So, Ollie’s been talking about me?’ While addressing Sam, Leon kept his eyes directly on me.

‘Sam’s a forest ranger,’ I said, speaking about three times faster than normal. ‘He found Nesbit for me this afternoon.’

‘Someone must have left the garden gate open,’ Sam added, no longer bothering to hide his frown. ‘It’s vital to familiarise yourself with the basic countryside code before moving to the edge of a country park.’

Ah. That explained it. Sam blamed Leon for leaving the gate open.

Leon finally switched to face Sam. ‘I grew up on a cattle farm. I’m aware of the dangers of open gates as well as dogs running loose. I hadn’t even realised there was a back gate.’

‘Oh, I’m sure Sam didn’t mean to imply it was you,’ I gabbled.

‘Worth making sure,’ Sam said, before we all fell into an uncomfortable silence.

Sam took a long swig of his beer. ‘So, grew up on a farm. Tell us something else about yourself, Leon. Married? Girlfriend? Boyfriend?’

I turned to him in surprise. Sam had already asked me that. He might not have bothered listening to my answer at the time, but that didn’t explain why he was bothered enough to ask again. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was jealous.

Leon looked back to me and said, ‘No. I’m very single.’

‘Really?’ Sam drained his bottle. ‘Happily single, or looking for someone?’

Leon leant back against the table, adjusting his stance as if amused rather than intimidated by this interrogation. ‘Happily single. Not looking for someone, but hopeful that I might have found her.’

It was then that I realised how in changing position, he had moved to align himself nearer to me.

What the hell is going on here?

I glanced back at Sam, mentally pleading with him to stop being a jerk and start acting like Sam again. Before the conversation could get even more awkward, from somewhere out of sight came the announcement: ‘Ladies, gentlemen and most of all, Ollie Tennyson! You are about to witness the greatest show in Bigley, if not the universe! Scream, shout, stomp your feet and shake your booties as we welcome to the stage the awesome, the awe-inspiring… FREA-K THREE-K!’