I thought about what Steph said. It was true that the thought of living day to day on my own, with no one to please but myself, felt like yanking out the tether to Planet Earth, leaving me floating off into an unknown universe. The temptation to find someone else to help me decide on what to do and how to do it was at times overwhelming. After some more discussion, Steph typed up a copy of the No-Man Mandate:

I, Olivia Anne Tennyson, hereby swear to adhere to this No-Man Mandate until the Dream List, as currently stated in my journal, is completed in its entirety, without exception. The No-Man Mandate states that:

I shall not date or accept an offer of a date, even if said date is to be delayed until the completion of the Dream List.

I shall not kiss, hug, hold hands or have any physical contact with a man that is not wholly platonic.

I shall not sign up to any dating apps, websites or other means of acquiring a date.

I shall remain completely single in every conceivable sense of the word.

If at any point I am in doubt as to whether an action is in breach of this mandate, I will consult with Stephanie Prince, and in all instances accept her decision as final.

Before I knew it, the No-Man Mandate was signed, dated and saved on her personal cloud so I couldn’t edit it later.

It was a good job that Prosecco was fake. My head was swirling enough thanks to the combination of excitement and panic-induced terror. This was my house, but unless I somehow found the strength to face what I had to do next, it would never become my home.

To force me into action, prompted by many a challenging comment from Steph, I had agreed with Karina that this evening we would execute the next stage in the plan. I was expecting fireworks, tantrums, and quite possibly a trip to A & E.

‘Come on,’ Steph said, once we’d rinsed out the glasses. ‘Let’s walk off that stress before we go.’

‘I don’t think it’s humanly possible to walk that far.’

‘Nonsense. It’ll be impossible not to feel better once you’ve soaked up some nature.’

We crossed the lawn and let ourselves into the forest through the back gate. The May sunshine was warm and hazy, the leaves above our heads dappling the dirt footpath as we wound our way through the trees. I sucked in a few lungfuls of air, tangy with earth, pine and hawthorn blossom, and had to admit that Steph was right. Here, in the quiet of the forest, my fraught muscles began to unwind as my thoughts settled.