‘Ooh, I hope so!’ Pia chirped.

‘No!’ I said immediately afterwards, loud enough to make Joan jump. ‘Sam made us these chairs.’

‘That doesn’t mean he’s not your boyfriend.’

‘Well, no, I suppose not. But me saying “no” does mean that.’

‘Then why have you gone all red and why is he smiling like a creepy clown?’ Joan fixed her steely gaze on Sam. ‘Do you want to be Ollie’s boyfriend? Is that why you made her the chairs?’

‘Joan!’ I couldn’t bear to look at him. ‘Sam is just a friend, so please drop it.’

‘Why don’t we let Sam answer the question?’ Pia said.

‘But I just want to know why he’s here and why he made you chairs. You don’t know what men are like, Ollie. They want to move in so they buy you things and act all nice and then once they’re there they start shouting and taking your money and making you cry.’

‘Oh, Joan, no!’ I got out of my chair and went to crouch next to her, holding her hands and looking her right in the eyes so she could see that I meant it. ‘Sam doesn’t want a girlfriend and I don’t want a boyfriend; we both like living on our own. Apart from you and Nesbit, of course. It makes us a perfect match to be friends.’ I ignored my heart’s squeak of protest. ‘I would never have a man come and stay while you’re here, unless you know and trust him. I’m not going to be fooled by someone like Archer, I promise.’

‘So he gave you the chairs as a friend?’ Joan wasn’t convinced.

‘Yes. Can you remember when Nesbit stole the chicken? That was Sam’s house. He showed me some chairs he made that were super-comfy, and offered to make me some.’

‘In return for what?’

‘Um…’

‘A fantastic meal and some beers,’ Sam chipped in. ‘But really, I love making the chairs; I don’t need anything in return. Oh – and Ollie is inviting me to her party.’

‘Is he a carpenter?’ Joan asked, still ignoring Sam.

‘He’s a ranger.’

Joan’s eyes went round as circles as she flipped to face him. ‘A Ranger? Like Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings?’

Sam’s grin was impossible to resist. ‘Almost. A forest ranger. I fight things like pollution and overgrown paths and fires, not orcs or goblins.’

Joan pulled her hands free and folded her arms. ‘Okay. You can be his friend. No kissing, though!’

‘Understood. No kissing.’ Sam nodded gravely.

‘Definitely no kissing,’ I agreed.

‘So, if you’re a ranger, will you help me find my grandparents?’ Joan asked, once Pia had left a few minutes later.

Sam glanced at me, as if checking whether it was okay to follow this line of conversation. I gave a small nod.

‘Are they lost in the forest?’