I awoke to the sun, bright on my face, and a lightness in my chest. I had made the decision to take hold of the many hands held out to me, and the dread I had been buried under fell away as I let my family’s love lift me up. Luke and I had been walking on parallel paths, alone in our worries and struggling to find common ground with each other. We didn’t realize that our pain was partially caused by our own stubborn refusal to just ask for what we needed and accept the love and care that was being offered so generously. I lost a lot of my fears last night, but one remained. I feared that Luke would not see what I now saw. Love goes both ways. You can’t just give it; you’ve got to take it too. I wouldn’t let Luke get away this time, and I wouldn’t close my heart to my family ever again. I was giddy with hope and relief, and I would not let fear get in the way of my life ever again.

I heard giggling at the door, then someone shushing the gigglers.

“I’m up! Come in!” I called and braced when the door flew open and I saw three six-year-olds rush through, clearly ready to jump on the bed, and therefore me. Dylan, Mark, and Mara. I prepared to be tackled.

“Auntie Lily!”

“Mommy!”

But there was no tackling, no jumping. Just cuddly snuggles.

“Good morning. Did you have fun last night?” My question was interrupted by Rocky bounding through the door and hopping up to join me and the kids in our cuddle pile. A cold nose butted up against mine, then he licked my cheek in greeting. I looked up and saw Luke in the doorway, holding Calla and grinning at me.

I smiled back. “Come on, Luke, don’t be scared.”

Chuckling, he made his way to the bed and sat next to me.

I grabbed Calla and kissed her cheeks.

She patted my face and kissed my nose.

“Are you better, Auntie Lily?” Mara asked as she felt my forehead. “Daddy said you were sick last night.”

Luke turned sharply toward me and studied my face.

“I’m fine now, Mara. You don’t have to worry.” I sat Calla on my lap and pulled Mara into a side hug. She hugged me back, then got up.

“Let’s go see if Grandma will make pancakes for breakfast,” she said to the boys.

Mark got up to follow, but Dylan stayed put.