I inhaled sharply at the guard I sensed him putting up. “I didn’t want details, Luke. I never expected to hear every little thing. I think I told you that. Didn’t I?”

He nodded at me.

“I just wanted to be included in your life. You were friends with Liam when you were with me, right? But I never met him. You never even mentioned his name to me. He was a big part of your life and still is. Why? You never told me anything at all. It couldn’t have been all bad. Was it?”

“It wasn’t all bad. It was intense, always. When I was with you, you made me feel like myself again, and I wanted that separation. I didn’t mean to create a distance between us, Lily, or make you feel left out of part of my life.”

“I can’t help but think that if you had let me in, even just a little bit, then you wouldn’t have left me,” I whispered.

“I wanted to shield you from all of that. A lot of it was too ugly to share. You were everything beautiful in my life. I wanted to keep you that way. I didn’t want to tarnish you—”

“Tarnish me? I don’t even know what to say, other than life is not always beautiful. Sometimes it’s terrifying and sad and can break your heart. But you wouldn’t let me see your broken heart. You were scared of—what? Driving me away, freaking me out? Like I’m too good to see you through your pain. Like I couldn’t handle being there when you needed me, really needed me for something other than kisses and sex and happy things. Is that it?”

“No, that isn’t it,” he bit out. “I didn’t want to burden you with it, to drag you down into it. The kisses and the sex and the love you gave me were all I needed from you. God, Lily, it was everything. You were everything I needed, and I—”

We were both startled when our waitress entered with a tray, heavy with our dream dinner, and set it at the end of our long table.

“Let’s talk about this later, please?” he asked with a soft, tense smile.

I nodded and reached for my lemon drop. We could talk about this later. We had to. So, I did what I always used to do. I buried my worries and gave Luke what he said he wanted. Part of me wanted it too. Wanted to live in this moment and keep our problems out of it.