‘It’s a word that gets thrown around a lot,’ he muttered as he suddenly became very interested in his own feet. ‘I don’t like to rush it.’

‘It’s OK, I know you don’t love me,’ I said, pressing the book back into his hands. ‘You never did. You loved how much I loved you and that’s very much not the same thing.’

It was strange, to be standing there, looking at Patrick Parker, all sad-eyed in the rain. Too many of my fantasies had started this way. But this was definitely an ending, not a beginning.

‘I wish you would give us a chance,’ he said, even though he was already tucking the book away inside his jacket. ‘I know you, Ros, you’ll regret this.’

‘That’s the thing, isn’t it? You don’t know me at all.’ I moved in towards him and rested my hands against his lapels, looking up into his light blue eyes. ‘I was never really me when I was with you. That was a sort of edited version of me and I don’t think I’d be happy if I had to be her all the time.’

‘Do you remember the first time we met? Do you remember how it was in the beginning?’ he murmured as he tilted his chin down towards me, playing his last hand. ‘Give me another chance. Whatever it is you want, you can have it.’

I shook my head. He wasn’t listening. As usual.

‘I think I already have everything I need.’

With a tiny tug on his lapels, I kissed him on the cheek and took a step backwards into the pouring rain, leaving Patrick Parker in the past.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

I went back into the wedding, swiping at myself with half a dozen napkins and skipping around the edges of the party to avoid my friends. I needed a moment, just a moment, to myself.

The chain that had been wrapped around the door to the roof terrace was gone, I realized, as I made my way to the other end of the room. With a quick glance over my shoulder, I pushed on the bar that opened the door and felt it give, slipping outside by myself. The rain couldn’t make its mind up, slowing down to a light drizzle with a bright blue sky above. I searched for a rainbow but couldn’t find one.