‘Yes, you can,’ he insisted. ‘They’re like us, don’t you see? I had to get a good kick in the ego before I could understand what was at stake. Now we can be together properly.’

I frowned at the book and then at Patrick. ‘You’re comparing us to a couple who could only get together after the hero was ruined by his first wife, who he locked in the attic, and ended up blind after she set the house on fire, and the heroine ran out on their wedding, turned down another proposal and became rich enough in her own right to feel socially equal to the man she loves?’

Patrick nodded eagerly. ‘See? Just like us.’

If I hadn’t been certain before, I was certain then.

‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘But I can’t take it because I don’t want to give it another try. There’s no point, it won’t work, and I know you’re going to laugh but seriously, it’s really not you, it’s me.’

Patrick’s strong arm faltered slightly, straining equally under the weight of holding the umbrella outstretched and the blow to his pride. ‘Why are you being like this?’ he asked, bluster creeping back into his voice and sweeping away the raw edges I had just heard. ‘Isn’t this what you wanted me to say? I’m sorry, I’ll try harder, you were right?’

‘It’s exactly what I wanted to hear.’ I stopped and sighed. ‘But it turns out I was wrong about a lot of things. Most things, in fact. You’re asking me to go backwards and I realize now, I can’t, no one can. You can only go forwards, you have to keep going forwards or you’ll die. I don’t want that.’

‘That’s sharks, Ros, not people,’ Patrick replied, his arm slowly retracting, the umbrella covering his head again and not mine. ‘You’re thinking of sharks.’

He smiled down at me with an expression I knew all too well. Condescending but humouring. Pleading eyes, lips curving upwards just a touch, brow lightly furrowed as though he wasn’t quite sure what he’d done wrong in the first place. But there was impatience as well, he wanted me to hurry up and accept his apology, and then life to go on according to his plan.

‘It’s sharks and people,’ I told him, the heat gone out of my end of the argument. I didn’t want to fight when there was nothing to fight for. ‘Don’t you think it’s weird that I never told you I loved you because I was worried it would scare you off? That’s mad. If you’re afraid someone will walk away from you if you tell them you love them, why on earth would you want to be with them in the first place?’