‘I’m so sorry,’ he said, even if he didn’t sound as though he was. ‘What are your preferred pronouns?’

‘Prefer not to say.’ I clocked the furious set of his jaw before I made a beeline for the door. Dark hair, dark eyes, murderous expression. Got it. ‘Sorry about your shoes.’

Running back up the stairs, I grabbed the fresh glass of wine that was waiting for me and downed half of it in one gulp. Sumi’s eyes opened wide.

‘What happened to you?’ she asked. ‘Did a rat climb out the toilet or something?’

‘Let’s say yes,’ I replied, taking a breath and then going back for the rest of the glass. ‘I’m starving. Why don’t we go and get some food? Or go to The Lex?’

‘Ros, I told you, no one goes there any more. They got a new landlord and it’s basically a crack den,’ Sumi pulled a face. ‘It was always basically a crack den, we were just too poor to care before. If you’re hungry, they’ve got really good food here. Adrian loves the burger, have that.’

‘I really want to go somewhere else,’ I said, looking over my shoulder. ‘I know you like it here but this place is so pretentious and totally overpriced. Let’s go and get a pizza or something.’

Sumi set down her glass with concern. ‘What on earth’s wrong? Did something happen to you downstairs?’

‘Nothing happened to her,’ a voice answered from behind the bar. ‘And we’ve got pizza. But it might be too overpriced and pretentious for you.’

And there he was. The man from the gents, strapping a leather work apron over his white shirt and his damp blue jeans.

‘John!’ Sumi leaned over the bar to press kisses on either side of his annoyed face. ‘What are you doing here on a Monday?’

Of course, they were friends. Of course they were.

‘Mostly being attacked in the men’s toilets,’ he replied, never once taking his dark eyes off me.

‘I didn’t attack you, it was an accident,’ I muttered. I attempted to hide my face behind my masses of hair, utterly mortified. ‘It’s not my fault you pissed on your shoes.’

‘Is that what I can smell?’ Sumi sniffed the air and made a face.

‘Could be the pizza,’ I suggested.

Sumi looked from me to John and back to me, a confused smile on her face. As much as I loved my friend, she did like to stir up shit and there was clearly shit here to stir.

‘So, it seems like you’ve already met but we’ll do introductions anyway. John, this is my best friend, Ros, the one who was in America. Ros, this is John McMahon, the greatest bartender in all of London.’