‘It was horrible, I felt so worthless,’ I told her, so relieved I could have laughed. ‘It was fun at first, being in DC, but then it got on top of me and I was just so lonely. There were days at the weekend when I didn’t get off the settee because what was the point? And I didn’t know how to get myself out of it.’

‘Oh, Ros.’ Sumi looked like she might cry. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘I wanted to but I couldn’t,’ I whispered. ‘I didn’t know how to start the conversation without sounding pathetic. And ever since I got back, it feels like all these doors are closing to me. Lucy is further away, Adrian’s got his girlfriend, even my parents don’t want me around. And now you’re going to take this incredible, incredible step, which I am so happy about and I’m sorry if it seemed as though I wasn’t because I am, I really am.’

She nodded in silence, her face open and kind and there for me, and it was enough.

‘It was easier before, everything was up for grabs. Something didn’t work out, you just did something else. Now it feels as though I have one less choice, one less option every day,’ I said, reaching for words I had struggled to find until now. ‘I know it’s not just me, I know lots of people are having a hard time right now, but I don’t know how to fix it and I feel as though I used to, or we used to.’

‘Don’t get upset,’ Sumi said, slowly, carefully. ‘But have you thought about talking to someone about this? A counsellor maybe? Only, I’ve been seeing one to talk about all the baby stuff and it’s life-changing. Not saying you need to or have to but just putting it on the table. It sounds like you’ve really been struggling.’

A rush of affection for my best friend ran through me. I’d dreaded this conversation, like I was trapped in a dark room all on my own, but now it was as though someone had pulled the curtains open from the outside. There was a light at last.

‘Have you talked to Patrick about any of this?’ she asked. ‘What does he say?’

I clenched my jaw and made a fist, suddenly tense. ‘I can’t talk to Patrick about any of this,’ I told her. ‘I don’t want him to know I got the sack, about any of it.’

Sumi raised an eyebrow but said nothing as the waiter reappeared with two immense-looking buckets of frozen yoghurt. He placed them on the table in front of us and backed away, eyes wide and transfixed, half bowing as he went. Either he was terrified of us or he was in love with us. Possibly both.

‘I talked to John,’ I said lightly.