‘Literally everyone on earth should have a podcast before that child,’ I insisted. ‘He should be riding his bike around the park and drinking Kiwi 20/20 under the slide.’

‘That’s an alarming glimpse into your childhood that I can never unsee,’ John replied. ‘Also, he’s far more likely to be off his tits on Adderall and watching hardcore porn on his phone than he is to be riding a bike. Sorry to break your heart.’

‘What do you think he wants?’ I asked, settling back in my chair and taking down my topknot. I pressed my fingers into my temples, trying to squeeze out a headache before it could begin. ‘Snazz, I mean?’

‘Probably a time machine for ten years from now when he realizes what a ridiculous name he’s saddled himself with,’ John suggested. ‘I honestly don’t know. When I was his age, I wanted a PlayStation, some Air Jordans and a naked photo of Jenny McCarthy. I’m fairly certain he’s got a PlayStation, all the Air Jordans on earth and couldn’t give a flying fuck about Jenny McCarthy so I’m not really sure. He’s got everything, hasn’t he? What else could he want?’

‘Not to have to sit in his bedroom with the curtains drawn and a giant guinea pig mask on his head?’ I suggested.

John considered my response and I considered him. He wasn’t that bad, I admitted grudgingly, at least not when you got him on his own and he was plying you with free wine. He was funny and quick, probably had to be, working behind a bar all the time. And he definitely wasn’t bad to look at. If you liked tall, dark interesting-looking types.

He leaned across the table towards me, a lock of dark hair falling in front of his face. ‘Why do it if you hate it?’

‘I don’t hate it,’ I replied, surprised.

He half-nodded as though he was only reluctantly accepting my response.

‘I don’t,’ I repeated. ‘I love what I do. Admittedly, if I could do it somewhere else for someone else, that might be nice.’

‘Then why don’t you?’ he asked. ‘Why stay where you are?’

I lifted my shoulders and looked around the room. ‘I’m lucky to have a job at all,’ I replied, still making sure to focus on anything other than John. ‘If I can make a success of this, it’ll be easier to move on to something else. Then maybe, in a few years, I’ll be able to do something I really want to do.’

He pulled a face that said fair enough before leaning across the table. Instinctively, I copied, edging forward in my seat. ‘I know what you really want,’ he said in a whisper.

A warmth crept up my neck as I shifted in my chair.

‘You do?’