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Contents (161)
  1. Dedication
  2. Epigraph
  3. Contents
  4. Prologue
  5. June 23, 1988
  6. Part One
  7. February 2016
  8. Chapter 1
  9. Audrey
  10. Chapter 2
  11. Jess
  12. Chapter 3
  13. Lily
  14. Chapter 4
  15. Audrey
  16. Part Two
  17. March
  18. Chapter 5
  19. Audrey
  20. Chapter 6
  21. Lily
  22. Chapter 7
  23. May 2009
  24. Chapter 8
  25. Jess
  26. Chapter 9
  27. October 1987
  28. Chapter 10
  29. Jess
  30. Chapter 11
  31. Audrey
  32. Part Three
  33. April
  34. Chapter 12
  35. Audrey
  36. Chapter 13
  37. April 1972
  38. Chapter 14
  39. Lily
  40. Chapter 15
  41. Jess
  42. Chapter 16
  43. September 1988
  44. Chapter 17
  45. Audrey
  46. Chapter 18
  47. July 2003
  48. Chapter 19
  49. Audrey
  50. Part Four
  51. May
  52. Chapter 20
  53. Audrey
  54. Chapter 21
  55. Audrey
  56. Chapter 22
  57. Audrey
  58. Chapter 23
  59. Lily
  60. Chapter 24
  61. Christmas Day 1988
  62. Chapter 25
  63. Audrey
  64. Chapter 26
  65. Jess
  66. Chapter 27
  67. Audrey
  68. Chapter 28
  69. Lily
  70. Chapter 29
  71. Jess
  72. Chapter 30
  73. Lily
  74. Chapter 31
  75. Audrey
  76. Chapter 32
  77. Jess
  78. Chapter 33
  79. Audrey
  80. Chapter 34
  81. June 1988
  82. Part Five
  83. June
  84. Chapter 35
  85. Audrey
  86. Chapter 36
  87. Lily
  88. Chapter 37
  89. Audrey
  90. Chapter 38
  91. Audrey
  92. Chapter 39
  93. Jess
  94. Chapter 40
  95. Lily
  96. Chapter 41
  97. Audrey
  98. Chapter 42
  99. Jess
  100. Chapter 43
  101. Lily
  102. Chapter 44
  103. Audrey
  104. Chapter 45
  105. Jess
  106. Chapter 46
  107. June 1988
  108. Chapter 47
  109. Jess
  110. Part Six
  111. July
  112. Chapter 48
  113. Jess
  114. Chapter 49
  115. Lily
  116. Chapter 50
  117. Audrey
  118. Chapter 51
  119. Lily
  120. Chapter 52
  121. Audrey
  122. Chapter 53
  123. Lily
  124. Chapter 54
  125. Audrey
  126. Chapter 55
  127. Jess
  128. Chapter 56
  129. Audrey
  130. Chapter 57
  131. June 22, 1988
  132. Chapter 58
  133. Audrey
  134. Chapter 59
  135. Lily
  136. Chapter 60
  137. June 23, 1988
  138. Chapter 61
  139. Jess
  140. Chapter 62
  141. Audrey
  142. Chapter 63
  143. Jess
  144. Chapter 64
  145. Lily
  146. Chapter 65
  147. Jess
  148. Chapter 66
  149. Audrey
  150. Part Seven
  151. November
  152. Chapter 67
  153. Jess
  154. Chapter 68
  155. Lily
  156. Chapter 69
  157. Audrey
  158. Acknowledgments
  159. About the Author
  160. Copyright
  161. About the Publisher

“Don’t be nervous. This is all totally informal. All we want to do today is sing a song, have a quick chat, and figure out whether you’d be happy in this choir we’re putting together. So what brings you here today?”

Audrey thought about her teenage diary, could taste a residue of that adolescent optimism. And then she thought about the future that was arriving far too soon and felt the truth dissolve under her tongue. “I always loved singing when I was young but . . . I don’t know . . . I’ve barely sung at all since I was a child. And now . . . now I’m getting on a bit, so I thought it was time to put that right.” The half-lie fizzed on her lips.

Ben hadn’t seemed to notice her awkwardness and he sat down at the piano, smiled at her, gestured for her to stand next to him. “Well, that seems like a pretty good reason to me, though I don’t think you’re getting on a bit. The oldest person I’ve had audition so far today was ninety-two, so from where I’m sitting you’re a veritable spring chicken. What are you going to sing?”

Audrey hesitated, still unconvinced of the answer to a question that had kept her awake for the past two weeks.

“‘Dream a Little Dream of Me’ by the Mamas and the Papas. I’ve got a CD here of the backing track. My granddaughter downloaded it from YouTube—I hope that’s all right?”

As soon as she’d spoken, the words tripping over one another, Audrey prepared to apologize, to say that she’d made a mistake, to tell this nice young American man that she couldn’t possibly sing that song. It was a song she’d studiously avoided for almost three decades, one that had habitually prompted her to switch off the radio, flick television channels, beat a hasty retreat from shops, restaurants, cinemas. It was a song she hadn’t dared listen to in full since they’d played it on a portable cassette recorder at the funeral almost thirty years before.

But before she had a chance to speak she heard the opening notes of an introduction that tugged at her heart in a way no other musical sequence ever could: a gentle lilting refrain that caught in the back of her throat and threatened never to leave.

“No need for a CD. I know it. G major should be good for you, I think. Does that sound about right? We can go half a tone lower if you like, but I think this should work.”

Audrey nodded as Ben played, unwilling to tell him that she didn’t know her G major from her A minor, that she’d never learned to read music, that there’d never been enough money for lessons. She’d always learned everything by ear, picking out melodies and harmonies instinctively, singing lower or higher depending on what her vocal cords required.

“I’ll run through a four-bar introduction and then you come in, OK?”