“What is it? What were you going to say?”

Audrey kept watch on Lily’s profile as she stared out across the boating lake into the distance as if looking back in time.

“I couldn’t say anything because I was worried it was all my fault.”

The words were almost a whisper, as if even now, after all this time, they still weren’t quite ready to come out of hiding.

“What do you mean? How could it have been your fault?”

Lily didn’t immediately reply. Audrey could hear squeals coming from somewhere on the lake but she didn’t turn her head to look, didn’t care about anyone else’s joy or pain. She kept her eyes on Lily, searching for clues.

“Because of what I said in the kitchen that morning.”

A single plump tear crept over Lily’s bottom eyelid before trickling onto her cheek below.

“When? What did you say?”

Lily turned to her, her expression caught somewhere between a question and remorse. “In the kitchen, with you and Dad, a few days after Zoe came home from the hospital. It was a Sunday morning. You must remember?”

Audrey tried to rewind her memory in search of the conversation Lily might be referring to. “I’m sorry, darling, I honestly don’t know what conversation you mean.”

“You must remember. Zoe and Jess were still in bed but you, me, and Dad were up really early and you made me some hot chocolate and I got really upset about Zoe . . .” Lily’s words trailed off and her eyes drifted across the park as if watching her voice disappear, unsure whether to chase it back.

“What, Lily? What did you say? I honestly don’t remember.”

There was a heartbeat of silence.

“I was really upset about Zoe. Really upset. I said that people treat pets better than humans. I begged you and Dad to do something. I begged you to put an end to her suffering—”

Lily stopped abruptly and Audrey felt the past lurch into the present. She remembered now. Sitting at the kitchen table, she and Edward flanking Lily, their arms around her shoulders. Lily had been hysterical and all Audrey had wanted was to stop her crying, soothe her distress. All she had really wanted, the memory squeezing her throat, was to calm Lily down so that she could return to Zoe’s bedside.

“Sweetheart, we were all upset in those last few weeks. We all said things in the heat of the moment we didn’t really mean. But nothing you said—nothing you did—contributed to my decision. I promise you. You are not in any way responsible for what I did.”

“But I am. I must have been. I must have planted the seed.”

Audrey shook her head, trying to slot all the new information into place. All these years Lily had blamed herself for Zoe’s death because of a conversation Audrey hadn’t even remembered. “You didn’t, Lily. I promise you didn’t. You mustn’t think that, please.” She took Lily’s hand, felt the New York humidity between their clammy palms.