“It was more than a crush,” she says, and it’s not a question as much as a statement of the now-obvious.

I nod. “We fooled around a couple of times.” That’s the extremely watered-down version of the truth, but I’m not up for sharing the whole story. I’m not sure I ever will be.

Her eyes widen. “You fooled around with Easton fucking Connor and kept it a secret?”

“Oh, yeah. My brothers would’ve killed him.” My eyes burn. I’m so damn tired. “What if I push George away because of what I think I still feel for Easton and everything’s different? What if what I feel is all past tense? I can’t change how I felt back then. Our history is going to be there as I move forward, no matter what.”

“Have you considered talking to Easton about all this?”

I huff out a dry laugh. “He keeps trying to talk, and I keep running away. I think he only kissed me tonight to get my attention.” I bite the inside of my cheek as if it’s some magical pressure point that can keep me from crying, but when I look up at my friend, I see her through a film of my tears. “I’m a coward.”

“You’re not.” I can tell from her expression that she has questions—so many questions that she’s too good of a friend to ask right now. “You have a lot on your plate. The defense, job applications, and now a possible proposal? Just give yourself room to breathe. Give your feelings some space to be before you judge them. If Easton really wants a chance to talk the past out with you, he’ll wait.”

“I don’t want to make a choice I’ll regret.” I swirl my bourbon in my glass, wishing my stomach would cooperate so I could chug it. The oblivion of a good drunk would be welcome about now. “Tell me about your day. How are things going with the new girl at work?”

“Work is fine and my day was boring. Don’t change the subject.”

I cut my eyes away and sigh.

Teagan squeezes my wrist gently. “When I worked surgery, we had to tell patients that they weren’t to make any major decisions post-op. I’m your nurse and I’m telling you to treat yourself as a post-op patient until further notice. No decisions.” She gives me a sad smile. “If I had to guess, I’d say you’ve been so secretive about this whole Easton thing that you don’t even know how you feel. Figure that out first and don’t make any decisions in the meantime.”

I smirk. “Does that also mean I can’t operate heavy machinery?”