“Your anxiety. I have this theory that some of it stems from our ability to empathize. It can be a blessing in our creative life to really imagine life in someone else’s shoes, but it also makes our personal lives hell. Don’t ever say this to Neda—calm can also be… insensitive and, well, boring. And you’re not boring.”

“I’m not?”

I thought when Gabriela made the same point, it was only because she’s my best friend and that’s what best friends are supposed to say. That it was her job to tell me I’m interesting.

Gideon shakes his head.

“Not even a little bit. You’re fascinating. So how are we gonna make sure the men and women in the Harvard admissions office see that?”

Fascinating. No one has ever described me that way. My heart rate starts to pick up, and my complexion turns a rosier shade than my lipstick. He’s your sister’s boyfriend, I remind myself again. You are not supposed to feel this way when he doles out compliments.

“You tell me.” I smile.

“You start with the truth,” he says, grinning back at me.

The truth. If he only knew, I think.

Gabriela

How’s your college essay going?

Parisa

It’s going. It feels weird to even think about the future these days.

Gabriela

I know. Tell me about it. I finished my apps yesterday and it all felt so pointless. I only applied to, like, the UCs and SJ State.

Parisa

That’s amazing, Gabs.

Gabriela

Not really. I don’t think we can afford tuition. My moms had to use my college fund to pay rent.

Parisa

But you could apply for financial aid?

Gabriela

And be in debt for the rest of my life? I dunno. It’s okay. I can always defer for a year and save money or something.

So I know this isn’t really important considering everything else that’s going on, but did Wes text you about the other day?

Parisa

No. What about the other day?

Gabriela

I don’t know. I think maybe the virus is making us all do things we wouldn’t normally do. We had this whole weird conversation about how… he likes me. And he brought up all this really sad stuff about his mom and said that it was why he didn’t want to wait another day to tell me how he feels.

Parisa

Whoa. That’s really heavy. And how do you feel?

Gabriela

IDK. Is it annoying that I’m even bringing it up? I don’t want you to be mad at me or something.

Parisa

No! Why would I be mad? I want to talk about it!

When you think about him, do you get that nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach?

Gabriela

Maybe. Yes? Is that weird?

Parisa

No! OMG. Those are butterflies. You do like him.