Neda and I made oatmeal cookies yesterday to send along with the food that my mom is taking to the Nanakas. It’s our day for the meal train.

Oatmeal cookies were his favorite, but, like, he’s not there to eat them. It’s so weird.

Gabriela

I don’t think it will ever not be weird.

Parisa

Can I make a confession?

Gabriela

Of course.

Parisa

I didn’t tell you this because I’ve been embarrassed, but before that night that I tried to come over to your place, I literally hadn’t left my house at all. I’m so paranoid about getting Adema, and now it’s even worse.

Gabriela

It’s so normal to be scared right now. You shouldn’t feel bad about it. Everyone is anxious these days.

Have you talked about it in therapy yet?

Parisa

Not really. I didn’t say a word in grief counseling either. Which wasn’t that hard because Lizzy was crying the whole time and pretty much took up the entire hour.

She keeps saying that no one knew Andrew better than her, and I just wanted to scream THAT’S NOT TRUE.

Gabriela

Or maybe she did know him better than us. Or a version of him we never got to see.

Parisa

Maybe. It really hurts to think that, though.

Gabriela

I know. I get it.

Gabriela

While we’re confessing things we haven’t told each other… I’ve sort of been seeing Wes in person… every day after school.

Parisa

WHAAAAAAAT?

Gabriela

I know, I know. But it’s been SO nice. Especially these days. And we’re being careful. We never take our masks off and we’re trying to keep our distance.

The closest we got was when he drove me to my grandparents’ house. That was a while ago and neither of us got sick. I just needed to see if they were still there, I guess.

Parisa

Gabs, be careful. It was one thing to meet in the park that time, but don’t tempt fate. 200,000 teenagers have already died. And I don’t know what I’d ever do without you and Wes.

Gabriela

I don’t know what I’d ever do without you. But try not to let your anxiety get in the way of living your life. Try not to focus on the statistics. Maybe just go for a walk around the block or something. Baby steps.

Parisa

I’ll think about it.

I have to try to get some sleep.

Gabriela

Same. Ugh, it feels like the insomnia just gets worse and worse.

Parisa

Want to FaceTime on our computers till we both fall asleep?

Gabriela

YES. Calling you now.

GABRIELA

“What’s wrong? Why aren’t you eating your breakfast?” Elena asks, gesturing to my plate. “You have to eat, sweetie.”