Back I Miss You, I Hate This
Chapters (52)
  1. COVER
  2. DEDICATION
  3. FALL
  4. PARISA
  5. GABRIELA
  6. PARISA
  7. GABRIELA
  8. PARISA
  9. GABRIELA
  10. PARISA
  11. GABRIELA
  12. PARISA
  13. GABRIELA
  14. PARISA
  15. GABRIELA
  16. GABRIELA
  17. PARISA
  18. WINTER
  19. GABRIELA
  20. PARISA
  21. GABRIELA
  22. PARISA
  23. PARISA
  24. GABRIELA
  25. PARISA
  26. GABRIELA
  27. GABRIELA
  28. PARISA
  29. PARISA
  30. GABRIELA
  31. SPRING
  32. GABRIELA
  33. PARISA
  34. GABRIELA
  35. PARISA
  36. PARISA
  37. GABRIELA
  38. PARISA
  39. GABRIELA
  40. PARISA
  41. GABRIELA
  42. GABRIELA
  43. PARISA
  44. PARISA
  45. GABRIELA
  46. PARISA
  47. GABRIELA
  48. SUMMER
  49. PARISA
  50. GABRIELA
  51. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  52. DISCOVER MORE

He knows it’s a fool’s errand to argue with me, so he relents and follows the directions. As we get closer to the house, I shut off the emotionless voice of the GPS and guide my dad on my own. He glances at me suspiciously as he takes a right turn when I tell him to.

“So, we’ve been here before,” I admit. “We’ve never, like, gone inside.”

When we round our way into their cul-de-sac, he asks me one more time if I’m absolutely sure that I want to drop a bomb into the life of two elderly strangers.

“They had it coming,” I reply as I get out of the car.

The house has been graced with a fresh coat of yellow paint, which is almost as bright and offensive as the seafoam green color it used to be. Despite a dry winter, the front lawn is still pristine. It looks like they’ve added another dozen or so pink flamingo yard ornaments, peeking out through a new flower bed of blooming poppies. Quarantine projects, I think to myself.

It’s mostly quiet except for the sound of the annoying ornate wind chimes hanging off a tree. As I open the front gate, I realize that maybe the pandemic has made me lose sight of boundaries and social norms. The timid Parisa from a year ago would never be here. She’d never even think about doing anything like this. But being here feels like the least I can do for Gabriela, and that’s what I tell myself as I ring the doorbell.

“Who is it?” a woman’s voice asks from behind the door.

“Um, my name is Parisa. I’m a friend of your… granddaughter.”

“I don’t have a granddaughter,” the woman replies.

“Are you Reina Gonzales?” I ask.

“Yes, but I don’t have a granddaughter,” she says. “You have the wrong house.”

“She’s Julia’s daughter.”

I fully expect her to tell me to go away, but instead the door pops open. The woman standing in front of me looks like a weathered version of the photograph from her youth. Her brown curls are now charcoal colored, and her freckles are hard to make out between the creases on her face. I can see pools of water filling her eyes.

“Sorry,” she says, quickly wiping her tears away before they can make a proper journey down her face. She nervously grabs a mask and uses it to cover her mouth, without strapping it on. “What did you say?”

“Julia’s daughter… her name’s Gabriela and she’s sick,” I tell her. “I think she’d want to hear from you.”