This morning was pure torture, waiting for my moms to wrap up their cooking, load the car, and leave the house to set up shop at Vasona Park. Even though cases are spiking, our governor announced, with little explanation, that parks and beaches and playgrounds are reopening, and that dining can resume at restaurants with limited capacity. Katie’s Diner decided they can’t afford to staff up and are sticking with outdoor seating, which you can pretty much get away with year-round in California—depending on the air quality, of course.

Today, it’s the kind of smoke-free, seventy-degree weather that reminds you why life is worth living in the priciest area of Northern California. And it’s Cinco de Mayo, so Julia and Elena expect the park to be crowded and told me it would be safer if I stayed home. I’m relieved on multiple fronts. For starters, I don’t feel like watching an array of Mexican families joyously barbecuing in the park, wondering if I might be related to any of them and wishing desperately that I was among them. I have enough making me feel lonely these days. So, for me, it’s just May fifth. On the bright side, it means I get to see Wes before he leaves for New York tomorrow.

My parents told me they’d likely be selling food till dinnertime, and I’m counting on a long absence. As soon as they hurried out the door, I started to tidy up the place. I changed the sheets on my sofa bed, vacuumed the floor, and dusted the dining room table. I pulled some flowers out of a plant on our balcony and arranged them in a vase. And then I took a long shower, carefully shaving my legs and bikini line. I even took the time to blow-dry my hair and put on a dress, instead of my standard quarantine uniform of sweatpants and a T-shirt. Lastly, I lit a few scented candles and turned on the playlist I’d put together to mark the occasion. Parisa would hate me if she knew I used all the songs that were curated for her by Gideon, minus the Beastie Boys. “Time to Get Ill” is not exactly the soundtrack I want for my first sexual experience.