She wanted to prove that she could do whatever it took to be with him. She wanted to believe that love could conquer all. Even her father.

“I know, it’s overwhelming,” Sebastian said, misreading her hesitation. “I never dared dream until today.”

Nor had she, but now there was an irresistible flicker of hope. Instead of telling herself it was impossible, could she turn her mind to how to make it possible? “If my parents discovered my feelings for you, they would have me sent away.”

“Then keep your feelings hidden from them. Though it goes against the grain and all that I teach to encourage deceit, in this instance I think it is justified.”

“There is still the matter of Killin.”

Sebastian frowned. “A simple refusal will suffice, surely. No man will wish to marry an unwilling bride unless he is a scoundrel.”

Was it possible to discourage Killin? She sincerely doubted it. But if she wanted to marry Sebastian, which she did, desperately, surely she could find a way of ridding herself of him? If only she had not worked so hard to make herself amenable. Good grief, was she really considering Sebastian’s proposal? Her head was spinning.

“You look unconvinced, Margaret,” he said. “If you would rather we took the bull by the horns and declared our love publicly, I will speak to your father forthwith.”

“No! Good God, no. That would be the worst thing you could do. We must not do anything rash.”

“You’re right: there is no point in acting with unseemly haste. After all, we have the rest of our lives to look forward to.”

Did they? She couldn’t believe it could happen, but when he smiled at her, with such love and tenderness, she wanted to. Then he pulled her into his arms again, kissing her with no trace of the flaring passion that had so excited and terrified her. And when he let her go, Margaret couldn’t decide whether she was relieved or disappointed.

Princess Louise to Lady Margaret

Princess Louise to Lady Margaret

Windsor Castle, 6 June 1866

My very dearest M.,

My profound apologies for the delay in answering your letter, which was waiting for me when I returned from a short visit to Cliveden with the queen. I have to confess to losing sleep over a particular worry of my own, but the contents of your letter guaranteed that I did not sleep a wink!!!!