“That’s a sweet thing to say, whether you mean it or not.” Margaret dabbed her eyes, sniffing. “I don’t deserve you.”

“What you don’t deserve is to be treated like a criminal, in my humble opinion.”

“Oh, Molly, if you could have seen Papa’s face. I felt as if I was getting smaller by the second. By the time he’d finished with me, I was no bigger than a mouse, I swear.”

“Even a wee mouse needs to eat, my lady. I know I’m speaking out of turn, but your father has no notion how hard you try to please him.”

“He thinks I don’t try nearly hard enough.”

Molly clucked her tongue disapprovingly. “Och, away and boil your heid! That’s nonsense.”

“Boiling ma heid might knock some sense into it.” The train was slowing down to pull into York station. Margaret’s head ached from lack of sleep. Despite her protestations, her tummy rumbled. She smiled weakly at Molly. “Perhaps I’ll have a small slice of pie. It will give me the strength to start thinking about how on earth I am going to atone for the terrible damage I’ve wreaked.”

Illustrated London News, Friday, 21 July 1865

Illustrated London News, Friday, 21 July 1865

THE MYSTERIOUS CASE OF THE DISAPPEARING LADY M.

The Lounger at the Club, with his ear firmly to ground, is devastated to announce that London society is to be deprived of the young woman whose Titian hair and effervescent personality have been lauded in what is known in common parlance as the marriage mart. Lady M—— has abruptly departed the Capital.

Yours Truly had anticipated a most significant announcement to be made at the dinner and ball hosted by her esteemed parents, the Duke and Duchess of B—— on Wednesday night, at which a certain Lord R—— P——, a Scottish earl, was a most honoured guest. Another guest has shared with us, in the strictest confidence naturally, the surprising information that the announcement made was very far from that which everyone present eagerly awaited. Lady M—— had apparently been taken suddenly and violently ill. It must have been very sudden indeed, for she was observed dancing not half an hour earlier One might venture to suggest that one of the symptoms of her malaise was extremely chilly feet!

So indisposed is she that we understand she is currently making the long and arduous journey to her parents’ home near the Scottish capital. A journey which, we most sincerely hope, does not tax her clearly fragile health further. The duke and duchess, though without question exceedingly concerned for her well-being, have chosen to remain in London, such is their confidence in their second daughter’s stoicism. Of Lord R—— P——’s whereabouts, we are, alas, less certain, though it seems safe to speculate that while the lady’s journey takes her north, the gentleman in question will be travelling hastily in the opposite direction.