And so what has changed? Life, and almost death, is responsible. Are you raising those questioning brows of yours and thinking, how unlike Victoria to be melodramatic? You are right, but I do not exaggerate. My son, Walter William Schomberg Kerr, Earl of Ancram (what a mouthful for such a little scrap of a baby!) was delivered just over two weeks ago. He was early and his journey into the world was not only unexpected but extremely protracted and painful for both of us. For several days afterwards the pair of us had a very fragile hold on life. Thankfully, we are both now much more robust, but confronting one’s possible demise makes one reassess one’s priorities somewhat. Hovering on the edge of one world, I resolved to write to you if I was spared, no matter what Kerr thought. As it turned out, he did not argue with me at all—though I cannot say whether this was due to relief that I survived or gratitude for my having produced his much longed-for heir. A mixture of both, I suspect. What matters is that he consented, and so I am free to write to you at last, and am determined to take a leaf from your book and speak more candidly.

You have always thought that Mama preferred me to you. Second daughter, second best, to borrow one of your phrases. I will tell you now, Margaret, that I have often resented the burden of being held up as a model and envied you the freedom to rebel—though I wish you had not rebelled in quite such a flamboyant manner. And since I am fessing up, to use yet another of your inimitable turns of phrase, I envy you your ease with people, your ability to mix with anyone and everyone. We have not been close, there is no denying that, but I hope that through our correspondence we can forge a new, sisterly bond. It is asking a great deal, I know, but you have a generous heart and I am confident you will indulge me by trying.

Little Cecil had her first birthday in February. I enclose a sketch of her. I look forward to her becoming acquainted with her aunt Margaret at some point, though I am not sure, in all honesty, that I have grounds for optimism. Instead, I pray you will treat this letter as a fresh start between us, and write back.

With love,

Your sister,

Victoria

Donald Cameron of Lochiel to Lady Margaret

Donald Cameron of Lochiel to Lady Margaret

Paris, 24 April 1867

Dear Margaret,