Now I’m echoing him. Oh. Oh. What if he loses me. What if I lose him. What if all of this goes to hell, and we end up with bullets in our heads, and the Angels standing over our bodies. What if it all goes right, but I turn into a monster that isn’t worth loving. What if all of it is for nothing?

“Then we can figure it out if I come back,” I say. “When we don’t have to worry about that anymore.”

“Okay,” he says. “Okay,” and he reaches for me and pulls me in until our foreheads touch. Until our noses bump together, and his breath warms my cheek. God, he’s so warm.

This is the last time I will be safe for days, but it might as well be forever. I’m terrified. I could stay here for the rest of time, if the world would just let me.

“When,” Nick says. “When you come back.”

When I come back, we can talk about it. We can face whatever the hell this is. We can figure it out.

When I come back.

“Okay.”

“Are you ready?” he asks.

“Fuck no.”

“Nobody in their right mind would be. Here.” He takes a piece of paper out of his pocket and slips it into mine. “Promise you won’t read this until later.”

I wonder if it’s the I’m sorry again. “I promise.”

The door creaks open, and we step away from each other. Stale air rushes into the space between us. I have to keep myself from reaching for him, from pulling him back to me, because it feels so empty without him.

Erin steps into the room, face flushed and eyes wide.

“All right,” she says. “It’s now or never.”

Nick offers me an awkward, perfect smile before he puts up his mask. I smile back, the best I can, and step out into the hall.

The three of us walk to the lobby. I swear the hall lasts forever. My mask is down. My sleeves rolled up. What’s left of my heart beating holy, holy, holy in my throat.

We step inside.

John 8:32.

The truth will set you free.

“Uh,” I say. “Hey, guys.” People turn, confused to hear someone raise their voice in the quiet. Then they realize what they’re seeing, all at once, and the silence could kill.

“Hi again.”

It’s not enough. All the planning in the world, all of Erin’s reassurance and Nick’s control, and it’s not enough.